tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17451626639046298992024-03-14T02:14:50.303-06:00The Missing PieceUnless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.comBlogger102125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-22979261737255606562015-10-27T10:49:00.001-06:002015-10-27T10:52:03.332-06:00Top 13 Short Films of Horror<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;"></b></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is time, boils and ghouls, for another Halloween list from Daniel P. Daniel. This year we will be taking a brief look at some of my favorite short horror movies. Often makers of horror movies seem to think that suspense means characters sitting or wandering around while nothing happens until there’s a loud noise. A lot of time and effort gets wasted looking at empty rooms, knickknacks, cutlery hanging on walls and other superfluous items in the hope of establishing mood or atmosphere. This makes it all the more appreciable when a director has the discipline and skill to get you hooked on a horror story in less than five minutes. I tried to limit the number of shorts that are a series of mundane jump scares, and instead focused on giving you a nice variety from funny to deeply disturbing. So turn out the lights, turn up the volume, grab your snuggle buddy, and enjoy.</span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">13. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6flB0XvmTo&feature=share" target="_blank">Bedfellows.</a> Let’s start off the list with a two minute quickie<b>.</b> </span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;">
</b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">12. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L3dYN4b9pI" target="_blank">Jack Chop.</a> I’m a sucker for schlocky infomercials, what can I say?</span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;">
</b><b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">11. <span id="goog_1346433972"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/">Red Balloon.<span id="goog_1346433973"></span></a> This has everything a horror movie fan needs...well except gratuitous nudity, of course.</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">10. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUQhNGEu2KA&feature=share" target="_blank">Lights Out.</a> Tapping into the “Who’s there?” theme this internet classic is sure to creep out anyone that has to race the bogeyman to their bed every night after turning out the lights. </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">9. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhmDlER7cAc" target="_blank">Cut.</a> Here we have an awesome short about a very particular kind of barber. Chop, chop.</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">8. <a href="https://vimeo.com/68083055" target="_blank">Breathe.</a> A wonderful ghost story about a boy and a girl. Don’t hold your breath.</span><a href="https://vimeo.com/68083055" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></a></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">7. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La6T8Bq6CsU&index=12&list=PLK7irGiHWmQoo7sYPWrpkcUKfHnycba0v" target="_blank">Still Life.</a> This film plays like an episode of the twilight zone. All it needs is an intro from Rod Serling.</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La6T8Bq6CsU&index=12&list=PLK7irGiHWmQoo7sYPWrpkcUKfHnycba0v" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></a></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">6.<span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvrXHqf3Cg8" target="_blank">Mother Died</a>" is a tale of fear, family and survival. The film is Episode 4 in a popular series of short horror films from the Bloody Cuts team, and it manages to keep you on the edge of your seat </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">throughout. </span></div>
</b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">5. <a href="https://vimeo.com/44185686" target="_blank">Suckablood</a>. A little Gothic bedtime story for your enjoyment. Be sure to watch this with the kids. It gets better every time I watch it, and it is not coincidentally Episode 5 from the Bloody Cuts team. </span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4. “<a href="http://ariescope.com/category/shorts/" target="_blank">Halloween Hugs</a>” may be the weirdest and most fun Halloween Short out there. It was created by the geniuses at ArieScope as part of their 16-year Halloween short series. While you’re there check out their other stuff. Who wants a hug? </span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. <a href="https://vimeo.com/51541324" target="_blank">The Sleepover</a>. This one is a throwback film that plays into the most-used horror tropes in the genre, and it is pure awesome.</span><a href="https://vimeo.com/51541324" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></a></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGzghUQRVk8" target="_blank">The Backwater Gospel</a>. The only animated film to make the list, and it most definitely deserves the number two slot. It's absolutely incredible on every level. </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGzghUQRVk8" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></a></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. <a href="https://youtu.be/gryenlQKTbE" target="_blank">Cargo</a>. There are no lengths that a father won’t go through to protect his daughter. I have posted this film before, and I still think it is every bit as powerful as the first time I saw it. Gut<b>-</b>wrenching and suspenseful all the way through.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;"><b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Honorable mentions:</span></b></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;">
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRqS6pBC42w&feature=share" target="_blank">Mama</a>, with intro from Benicio Del Toro<b>.</b> </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiKFEwI5YrI&feature=share" target="_blank">The Little Witch</a>.</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiKFEwI5YrI&feature=share" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></a></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10diurwIa7Y" target="_blank">Peekers</a>. This one has the body snatchers feel to it.</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10diurwIa7Y" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></a></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://vimeo.com/63895336" target="_blank">Don’t Move</a>. </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=2&v=IUithfhoBUU" target="_blank">Perished</a>. Shockingly the only NSFW film that made the list. </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://youtu.be/vWsnjOQIeaY" target="_blank">To Mommy and Daddy</a>. Disturbing and confusing in every sense. </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://youtu.be/Cgx9bfQYPDw" target="_blank">Luna</a>. Has a “No Country for Old Men” feel to it, and it is pretty good. </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7_Okf__vMI4" target="_blank">The French <b>D</b>oors</a>. Interesting one from new Zealand.</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA8_2L5cKh4" target="_blank">The Passing.</a> <b>A</b> great homage to haunted house f<b>ilms</b>. </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="http://www.bloodycuts.co.uk/films/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">www.bloodycuts.co.uk/films/</span></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
</b><b id="docs-internal-guid-a4d2791e-aa20-40ce-98d3-4597cb5aed3d" style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: black;">Let me know if I missed any of your favorites!</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
</b>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-15935657415492185232014-10-20T15:27:00.000-06:002014-10-31T07:56:00.957-06:00Top Ten Kid-Friendly Horror Movies<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You didn’t think that a Halloween season would go by without a list from Daniel P. Daniel, did you? As the little ones are finally getting old enough to enjoy the creepy awesomeness that makes Halloween the best holiday of in the history of ever, I have found myself in an odd dilemma that I’m hoping you can help me with: Exactly what age is it OK to have the kids watch “Cannibal Holocaust”? They are my kids after all, not some soft suburbanites that get scared whenever the dog farts too loudly. I guess now that we’re talking about it I’m not sure where they would fall on the zombie apocalypse survival scale. I’m shooting for somewhere between Mindy Macready (Kickass) and Isaac (Children of the Corn). So I look at scary movies as educational films, really. I mean, my parents thought that it would be a great idea to take a seven-year old DPD to the drive-in for a double feature of “Friday the 13th” and “Prophecy”, and I turned out fine…sort of…well, mostly…you know what I mean. However, I have Mrs. P. Daniel to contend with, and I don’t fancy sleeping in the garage for all of eternity. I have a feeling that I am going to have to wait a long time before we have a family movie night featuring “Re-Animator”.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6LDbjRcbVdNgtlVknAqPfTUNOZII6Vq_twP9Lh4L0c6UY6AVeag45Q8zRcWgPAJEIeWbH3cccgI_bVSkWOYY1b45PAY2TNhmZemjZ22Tr9UNliHm86kwLdvAx3u6zIAIEdSnLanSLG2Ni/s1600/13+-+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6LDbjRcbVdNgtlVknAqPfTUNOZII6Vq_twP9Lh4L0c6UY6AVeag45Q8zRcWgPAJEIeWbH3cccgI_bVSkWOYY1b45PAY2TNhmZemjZ22Tr9UNliHm86kwLdvAx3u6zIAIEdSnLanSLG2Ni/s1600/13+-+1.jpg" height="255" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In order to keep a balance between normalcy and deep psychological scarring I have taken the time to put together a list of kid-friendly(ish) horror movies. The movies that made the list are not Abbott and Costello era gems or soft-cornered, Nerf-padded animated movies like “Frankenweenie”. No, these are modern films that have just the right mix of scary bits, comedy, and are shockingly devoid of gratuitous nudity {sad trombone sound}. Without any further ado I give you Daniel P. Daniel’s list of the top ten kid friendly horror movies (contains spoilers). Let me know if I missed any of your favorites.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">10. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWcZTEo3jmw" target="_blank">House (1986)</a>: This movie is essentially a haunted house for your…um, house. I mean it’s like you’re watching a haunted house in your house…which is why it’s called House…ah, Fekk it. It’s the next best thing to actually going through a haunted house with the family. It is just creepy enough to avoid being kitschy. Problem areas for the kids: There are a ton of the usual haunted house scares, and you have to avoid playing the Greatest American Hero theme in your head the whole time.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">9.<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjF674gZQps" target="_blank"> Firestarter (1984)</a>: I think there are probably a few other Stephen King movies that might be OK for the kids, but Drew Barrymore makes this one more approachable. She’s at least 600 times less creepy than Gage Creed from Pet Cemetery, plus there’s no Achilles slicing {hork}. Problem areas for the kiddos: This is a Stephen King movie after all, and introducing the kids to pyromania could be a dicey proposition.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">8. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VkxRD3s5_I" target="_blank">Critters (1986)</a>: Any movie that has horror movie icon Dee Wallace in it is bound to be good. This one is no exception. How can you go wrong with a massive ball of furry creatures from another world eating their way through a small mid-western town followed by intergalactic bounty hunters opposed only by militant townspeople? You can’t. Problem areas for the kiddos: This one has amped up intensity, but the people-eating is mostly off screen.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">7. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aQ6vg3JB2U" target="_blank">Arachnophobia (1990)</a>: This one is a simply made thriller (I refuse to use the word thrillomedy) with an all-star cast and a lot jumping-out-of-a-box scares. To be honest I’m having a hard time writing this without my skin getting itchy. Problem areas for the kiddos: Um, effing gross arse spiders. What else do you need?</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">6. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VAat7Q--wQ" target="_blank">Monster Squad (1987)</a>: Monster Squad is rated PG, so there are no killings or gore to speak of, and all of the central characters are children. It’s essentially the Goonies of the horror genre. Loaded with slapstick scenes and monster mythology, this is a fun film to watch and to connect the dots that are placed throughout. Problem areas for the kiddos: I guarantee that they will run around yelling, “The wolfman’s got nards!” It could be worse. They could be quoting Rush Limbaugh or Alex Jones {shudder}.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">5. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiAIvcWJ_yM" target="_blank">Tremors (1990)</a>: Tremors has the right mix of action, suspense, Kevin Bacon, and comedy. Guilty pleasure #463 – Fred Ward. You can’t deny that you love him, too. Well, you can, but you would be wrong and I hate you. Problem areas for the kiddos: The only real problem area is when Walter Chang gets trashed into oblivion and sucked into a subterranean worm belly. You know, the usual.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">4. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vntAEVjPBzQ" target="_blank">Ghostbusters (1984)</a>: Admittedly this is more of a comedy than a horror movie. However, it is has just the right amount of ectoplasm and around-the-corner scares that it crept its way onto the list. This is the second film from 1984, and it isn’t the last. What the hell happened in 1984 that made the movies so effing awesome? Problem areas for the kiddos: Apart for some possibly suggestive adult comedy and a cliché 80's music montage I can’t see anything worth mentioning here.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">3. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-14d51QTVjo" target="_blank">Gremlins (1984)</a>: Horror and humor collide seamlessly in this quintessential 80’s blockbuster, not surprisingly from Stephen Spielberg. The special effects are just bad enough that the creepy lizard-dog-predator-monkey monsters that will tear your shit up are not entirely soul scarring or threatening. Problem areas for the kiddos: 50$ says that they will ask you for a mogwai every day for a week. I guess watching grandma shoot out of a second-story window while strapped to a chair isn’t too great, but she sucked as a person so she had it coming…Oh, and there is Cory Feldman to suffer through.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ytjaMfoF2M" target="_blank">Poltergeist (1982)</a>: There is nothing about this movie that is gory, and, in fact, nobody gets hurt or dies during the entire movie. There is no doubt that the film is full-frontal scary, which makes this a perfect addition to this list. Problem areas for the kiddos: The storm climax scene is particularly intense although it is mostly left up to the imagination in typical Spielberg fashion. However, I still think this entire movie is on par with LOTR or Harry Potter for on-screen intensity.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucMLFO6TsFM" target="_blank">Jaws (1975)</a>: Rounding out the Spielberg trifecta Jaws is easily one of the best movies of all time, and it should be included on everyone’s list regardless of genre. Best romantic comedy? Jaws. Best documentary? Jaws. Best foreign film? MF’n Jaws. Problem areas for Kiddos: Really, the only problem area here is when Quint gets chewed up in a prolonged bout of blood spitting and screams. Spielberg does an excellent job keeping the rest of the gore off-camera.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So, what do you think? Remember, I'm not responsible if your kids are scarred for life or if they take up residence in your bedroom for the next 18 years. You should know better than to take parenting advice from a guy on the internet called Daniel P. Daniel.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-29862953934951080642014-03-20T13:54:00.001-06:002014-03-21T10:41:54.157-06:00Looking Good on Paper<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It seems like there has been a rash of corporate downsizing and layoffs going around lately. So, in order to be proactive about the matter there comes a point in life when it is prudent to update the ol' resume. Yes, yes. I know. Even the great Daniel P. Daniel must shamelessly tout his accolades for the poor faceless masses that have not yet had the joy of Daniel P. in their sad, sad, little lives. I suppose I should look at my resume as a good opportunity to pollute the minds of a captive audience; however, I'm told (repeatedly and loudly) that it is an introductory sales document, and it has to be "informative", "succinct", and "non-offensive". What does that even mean? Anyway, I find it difficult to fit the bulk my evil genius into the typical resume mold (surprise, surprise). It just feels so confining, fake and unimaginative. Plus, the knowledge that there are eleventy thousand other schmoes standing in the bread line ahead of me doesn't exactly make for great motivation. Alas, I have been doing my best at putting my sales document together. I have attached it below. I think it looks pretty good, but it never hurts to have another set of eyes on something like this. Let me know what you think.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqCIZyWTJkg5cvjNISiE1A3fVrqp_99SQXw3SOp25jcFKMFrSgB_vmSg3_pR8mC_7Iuy2TajOUSJ7j6B3YgPGXKgbLMqjCaSqOqG5D3fxyu7qFwcL8IrEAoCz-K1e-iTEOmnY-La-fqEvv/s1600/DPD+Res.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqCIZyWTJkg5cvjNISiE1A3fVrqp_99SQXw3SOp25jcFKMFrSgB_vmSg3_pR8mC_7Iuy2TajOUSJ7j6B3YgPGXKgbLMqjCaSqOqG5D3fxyu7qFwcL8IrEAoCz-K1e-iTEOmnY-La-fqEvv/s1600/DPD+Res.jpg" height="640" width="492" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In case you are wondering <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0" target="_blank">this is the training video.</a></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-55305903423967292272013-11-01T12:30:00.002-06:002013-11-01T12:46:41.856-06:00Top 10 Halloween-Themed Horror moviesGreetings, boils and ghouls! 'Tis the
season for me to regale you with another list of horror movie classics. You know that you like it, so stop your groaning. In the past we covered the <a href="http://danielpdaniel.blogspot.com/2011/10/top-20-horror-movies-of-all-time.html" target="_blank">Top 20 Horror Movies of All Time</a> and the <a href="http://danielpdaniel.blogspot.com/2012/10/top-20-zombie-movies-of-all-time.html" target="_blank">Top 20 Zombie Movies</a>. This time around
I wanted to tip my hat to some of the movies that embrace the Halloween season. These are, in my expert opinion, the best of the movies that are about or occur on Halloween. There are so many to choose from. Let's see if your favorites made the list.<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT8GP1bK9ESGO7c9CWFGft3wqi_mBUxb7PBfSO21K8ga7J-b74aWK3g5BE2wle2-YlmPQ_G5DsgRMgvQdO-BzASDUO8bOhpzQ6sMxEmdQnbH_sSAFI9VPPWcJbQ7O_Rrz33tdV3iMQ2TXx/s1600/CameraZOOM-20131031185639639.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT8GP1bK9ESGO7c9CWFGft3wqi_mBUxb7PBfSO21K8ga7J-b74aWK3g5BE2wle2-YlmPQ_G5DsgRMgvQdO-BzASDUO8bOhpzQ6sMxEmdQnbH_sSAFI9VPPWcJbQ7O_Rrz33tdV3iMQ2TXx/s320/CameraZOOM-20131031185639639.jpg" width="240" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">10. </span></span><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zoa1A987A_k" target="_blank">Ginger Snaps</a> (2000):</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Anything with a ginger in it is going to get top marks from me, and this ginger snaps...and bites.</span></span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">9. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUqsXvBAqRY" target="_blank">Trick 'r Treat</a> (2007):</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Four wonderfully crafted stories entwined in a deft nod to Creepshow, which amazingly just missed making the list.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">8. </span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWAEX5a3nwI" target="_blank">Stan Helsing</a> (2009):</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Although this wouldn’t make my list of best horror comedies, if Leslie Neilsen has a cameo in it, it has to be good, and, of course, it is.</span></span></span></span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">7. </span></span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwUbfB67dys" target="_blank">Junkyard Dog</a> (2010):</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> If this movie doesn’t make you squirm in your seat go immediately to your local metal institution and book a suite. Plus, you know, Brad Dourif.</span></span></span></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZsIDmYINUls5D6yAM-IXAufMA0-BvjLkwzYSg0aHFJQPwTsk4-C4MuQnQjrX47N5IbWDSTCJE5HGfrH37FdIQ8Ta4IAW3oQ8Pg9K3CcAWnJ2_S_tAFKwNNNRLz5zxDpykaPEKe3iZa1nC/s1600/dourif.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZsIDmYINUls5D6yAM-IXAufMA0-BvjLkwzYSg0aHFJQPwTsk4-C4MuQnQjrX47N5IbWDSTCJE5HGfrH37FdIQ8Ta4IAW3oQ8Pg9K3CcAWnJ2_S_tAFKwNNNRLz5zxDpykaPEKe3iZa1nC/s1600/dourif.JPG" /></a></span></span></b></div>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">6. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c96DM_5AHbg" target="_blank">House of 1000 Corpses</a> (2003): </span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Rob Zombie’s directorial debut proves the boy’s got some horror movie chops.</span></span></span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">5. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyykex3IIK4" target="_blank">Night of the Demons</a> (1988):</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> With a star-void cast of tens and special effects that can only be described as “bad”, to say this movie was low budget would be a dramatic understatement.</span></span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4. </span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gA6GYAtvNcs" target="_blank">The Crow</a> (1994):</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Although this movie is dark and kitschy enough to remind me of Tim Burton’s </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Batman</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Brandon Lee’s performance was brilliant in the movie that ended up being his last.</span></span></span></span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5ke9IPTIJQ" target="_blank">Halloween</a> (1978):</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> No surprises here, except that this isn’t at the top of the list. Loomis is easily my favorite character in this movie. We need more Loomis in this world.</span></span></span></span></b><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></b></span>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK89XlOUWms" target="_blank">Hell Night</a> (1981):</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> This Linda Blair classic is the standard to which all other teen screams should be compared.</span></span></span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk6dP-nW8QNCsVAkLdbTglEVt5trETIOlXcxo4H7jy_hTivysp4tJHcUGEEVieaT_P3HqtvI1FfZG9FWAUsN54CnlLJwOo19Q37ryX6AX8S6vaWLOsZLmdlNtbqlENOh9m1umvq0yWYFTv/s1600/Pumpkin-head-kid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk6dP-nW8QNCsVAkLdbTglEVt5trETIOlXcxo4H7jy_hTivysp4tJHcUGEEVieaT_P3HqtvI1FfZG9FWAUsN54CnlLJwOo19Q37ryX6AX8S6vaWLOsZLmdlNtbqlENOh9m1umvq0yWYFTv/s320/Pumpkin-head-kid.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></b></div>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. </span></span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKNIqG9J2KU" target="_blank">Halloween III: Season of the Witch</a> (1982):</span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Even though Michael Myers is absent in this movie from the </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Halloween </span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">franchise, the Silver Shamrock theme song and tour de force performance from horror icon Tom Atkins easily lands the top spot on the list of Halloween themed movies.</span></span></span></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.07812; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Honorable mentions:</span></span></span></span></b><br />
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.07812; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiJe08ZJiGM" target="_blank">Creepshow </a>(</span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/year/1982/?ref_=tt_ov_inf" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1982</span></a><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">), <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qrB9I3DM80" target="_blank">The Nightmare Before Christmas</a> (</span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/year/1993/?ref_=tt_ov_inf" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1993</span></a><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">), <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRGkEDADmRU&list=PLOyElAIxViMpYQNe5sSnPGYQsalHh5KUW" target="_blank">It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown</a> (1966), </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvI3apstycU" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Trick or Treat</span></a><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (1986), <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7-2PB4jj2o" target="_blank">ET: The Extra Terrestrial</a> (1982), and<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7Uh5L8zDVA" target="_blank"> Idle Hands</a> (1999).</span></span></span></span></b><br />
</div>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-76960706202392719582013-10-15T09:22:00.002-06:002013-10-16T14:09:17.344-06:00Getting Warmer<div style="text-align: justify;">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:RelyOnVML/>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Recently one of my friends asked me what my thoughts on climate change were. So in a very Daniel P. Daniel fashion I crafted an unnecessarily long-winded reply to a query that, on the surface, seems like a pretty simple question: Do humans have an effect on the environment, specifically the global climate? Although my method of attack on most issues is to dive deep into the science and mathematics (you know, where the real answers lie) in this instance I wanted to keep it somewhat concise and top-level so as not to befuddle the addle brains of the conspiracy crowd, who seem to be highly represented in the climate change denier group. Alrighty then, where do we begin our voyage of discovey? Well, let’s begin at
the beginning – with a cursory review of our scientific understanding of the topic at hand. Then we can get into the other nonsense.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Generally, when people bring up climate change they want to talk about one specific molecule, carbon dioxide (CO2). There are quite a lot
of other molecules that affect global warming (methane, water, etc.), but for
some reason people are in love with CO2. Incidentally, there are other
chemicals that affect global <i>cooling, </i>but
no one in the non-scientific community seems to care about that. For instance,
smog has a large cooling effect on the environment. It just happens to be toxic
to humans and is visible to the naked eye, so we try to eliminate it (mostly).
Anyway, getting back to that pesky CO2. How exactly does this one molecule affect
global temperatures? Well, one way is that CO2 absorbs infrared light. The Earth’s atmosphere
absorbs ~150 watts per square meter (W/m2) of infrared energy. So, without
getting into too much math, it stands to reason that as the concentration of an
infrared-absorbing molecule increases in the atmosphere the total amount of
energy absorption will increase in the atmosphere which will cause temperatures to rise
globally. Not too much of a leap, is it?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In the industrial age alone we burned roughly 500 billion
metric tons of fossil fuels. Why should we differentiate fossil fuels from wood or
other biomass? Wood and biomass can be considered carbon-neutral since the
carbon that they release into the atmosphere is exactly the amount that the
tree or plant took out of the atmosphere in order to build itself. This is essentially an
infinitely repeatable cycle as long as the biomass burn rate is roughly equivalent to
the new growth rate of biomass. Fossil fuels are a different animal. The amount of
fossil fuels that we have burned is enough to raise the global CO2
concentration up from 280ppm to ~500ppm. Some of that is absorbed by the ocean,
plants and other chemical reactions, which leaves us with a net increase of
~30%. Not coincidentally, measurements taken on the carbon in the atmosphere
show an exact correlation in the concentration and expected isotope from
burning fossil fuels. We know the current
CO2 increase is due to the human industrial revolution based on logic,
mathematical calculations and chemical theories, which are consequently backed up by scrutinizing
scientific measurements. Here’s something that nobody talks about: simple combustion
chemistry dictates that carbon has to react with oxygen in order to form CO2
when something is burned. Thus, we should also be seeing a decrease in global
oxygen levels over the same period. In fact we do. The exact decrease predicted
by calculation has been measured, but we don’t really need oxygen, do we? Well,
climate change deniers don’t seem to be using much anyway.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2kYdJhG5bVS3nuEJLy-7QkSOOcP8e8V2ydH1v5MSFwEOItwZ3tBuTy5cAw63kHo0jp2BdnBGg5GW9JKvJuMacUxm45l8MCvDgIyymA-CSZsCPv4YuKtu26glzjxAAUu9tr4Cm2p1QVCBJ/s1600/JoelPett_ClimateSummitHoaxForNothing_120709.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2kYdJhG5bVS3nuEJLy-7QkSOOcP8e8V2ydH1v5MSFwEOItwZ3tBuTy5cAw63kHo0jp2BdnBGg5GW9JKvJuMacUxm45l8MCvDgIyymA-CSZsCPv4YuKtu26glzjxAAUu9tr4Cm2p1QVCBJ/s320/JoelPett_ClimateSummitHoaxForNothing_120709.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">OK. So we’re pumping greenhouse gases into the atmosphere,
who cares? Not me. I was planning on drowning my kids tomorrow anyway. Plus God
will eventually get around to smiting us sooner or later. However, for argument’s
sake, let’s just continue with the simple science for a moment. In general it can be
stated that an increase in absorbed energy in the atmosphere will directly
correlate to an increase in average global temperatures. However, the planet is
a quite large and very complicated organism. Anything that has an effect on it
will have some amount of lag due to environmental inertia in the same way that
you don’t immediately get diarrhea the instant someone sneezes in your face on
the bus. The climate has a lot of
feedback loops, some positive and some negative, so the exact amount of warming
is difficult to postulate. The error bars surrounding that exact number aren’t
that important. Why? Because even a small increase will have a direct impact on
sea levels, growing seasons, animal migrations and a host of other moderately
important tidbits like that. Once the increase reaches 7°C the air can hold
enough water that it will literally suck all of the moisture out of the ground
leaving the Earth a barren wasteland. (<i>Note to self: I need to stock up on vulture-feather shoulder pads and start modifications on that '73 GT Ford Falcon Coupe</i>).</span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #444444; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 16px; orphans: auto; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Climate change deniers often like to spout the nonsense that
there is still an argument in the scientific community about whether or not
human caused global warming is actually occurring. This is because they are
mouth-breathing dipshits that lack the ability to think critically. Since
January 1<sup>st</sup> 1991 over 14,000 articles have been published in
peer-reviewed scientific journals relating to and supporting the idea of global
climate change. Of those 14,000 or so articles, exactly 24 dispute that the
current climate change is human-related. Twenty-four. Out of 14,000+. Any idea
who funded those 24? This cuts to the quick of the denier’s argument. Is there
in fact a global conspiracy by tens of thousands of financially unconnected climatologists,
geologists, physicists, biologists, oceanographers, chemists, and local weathermen to create a better, more stable, sustainable, less
polluted planet that supports human health and well-being, or are there a few
very large and very politically influential energy corporations that stand to
lose something if the general public stops buying their products? <i>OOH! PICK ME!
I KNOW THIS ONE!</i> Any semi-literate individual has to ask themselves the question: why do non-scientific people that
are not climatologists have an opinion on this topic at all? I'll give you a little example. Try saying the following
next time you’re stuck in a conversation with one of them, “I see you’re well informed
on the conspiracies supported by so-called ‘scientific literature’. What’s your
take on the controversial finding that phthalimides with
trimethylsilyl-substituted alkynes can undergo decarbonylative alkylidenation
over a nickel catalyst? Oh, I’m sorry, what was I thinking?!? I meant to ask what you thought about Bigfoot and vaccines.” Smell what I'm stepping in? I
recently read an article that showed that climate change deniers were more
likely to believe in any conspiracy theory handed to them than critical
thinkers. They also happen to be more religious and have poor critical thinking
skills. Hrmmm, imagine that. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Let’s get even more simplified. No, there is no conspiracy or disagreement
among scientists. Yes, humans have an effect on the climate. What the exact meaning of that change will be for the human race can be intelligently discussed, depending upon present company, of course. However, let’s
grant the idiots’ premise for a moment. Let’s say that this is just another
global burp that has nothing to do with humans at all – that the current rise in temperatures is just Earth being Earth over geological time. Nothing that we can do about
it. Well, then why the fekk aren’t we moving away from coastlines, building effing biodomes, underwater cities,
crops that can grow without water, or some other kind of life raft that will
save us when the icecaps melt or when the next ice age comes? The answer is
that most people really don’t care what happens to the human race in the future
as long as it doesn’t happen to them now. They just like to have uneducated
opinions about things without extrapolating what the long-term consequences or
solutions might be. It sucks, but it’s true. On that note I’ll leave you with a
quote from one of my heroes:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>There exists in society a very special class of persons that
I have always referred to as the Believers. These are folks who have chosen to
accept a certain religion, philosophy, theory, idea or notion and cling to that
belief regardless of any evidence that might, for anyone else, bring it into
doubt. They are the ones who encourage and support the fanatics and the frauds
of any given age. No amount of evidence, no matter how strong, will bring them
any enlightenment. They are the sheep who beg to be fleeced and butchered, and
who will battle fiercely to preserve their right to be victimized.</i> – <b>James
Randi</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Extra credit - some references and useful articles for your brain:</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.jamespowell.org/index.html">http://www.jamespowell.org/index.html</a><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1849713367/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=skeptscien-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399349&creativeASIN=1849713367">http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1849713367/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=skeptscien-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399349&creativeASIN=1849713367</a><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;">Lewandowsky, S. (2011). Popular consensus:
Climate change set to continue. Psychological Science, 22, 460-463.<span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.realclimate.org/index.php/archives/2004/12/how-do-we-know-that-recent-cosub2sub-increases-are-due-to-human-activities-updated/">http://www.realclimate.org/index.php/archives/2004/12/how-do-we-know-that-recent-cosub2sub-increases-are-due-to-human-activities-updated/</a><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://tigger.uic.edu/~pdoran/012009_Doran_final.pdf">http://tigger.uic.edu/~pdoran/012009_Doran_final.pdf</a><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2010/06/04/1003187107.full.pdf+html">http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2010/06/04/1003187107.full.pdf+html</a><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://med.ucsd.edu/documents/Oreskes_2007_MIT_Press.pdf">http://med.ucsd.edu/documents/Oreskes_2007_MIT_Press.pdf</a><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://www.realclimate.org/index.php/archives/2007/08/the-co2-problem-in-6-easy-steps/">http://www.realclimate.org/index.php/archives/2007/08/the-co2-problem-in-6-easy-steps/</a><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span><span><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relative_humidity#Other_important_facts">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relative_humidity#Other_important_facts</a></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <a href="http://www.climateemergencyinstitute.com/atmos_oxy_karen_v-t.html">http://www.climateemergencyinstitute.com/atmos_oxy_karen_v-t.html</a></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <i style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: black; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Geophysical Research Letters</i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 18px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>(DOI 10.1029/2002GL014687)</span></span></span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">
</span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-62311614737330343372013-04-01T09:16:00.000-06:002013-04-01T09:16:07.826-06:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol. 14<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Finally, the internet got a little weird again this month. Enjoy, but enjoy in moderation. You have been warned.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><b>Videos</b></span>:</div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li>I would totally ride <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RVeHxUVkW4w" target="_blank">these</a>...once...maybe.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dNHb3lZobt0" target="_blank">This </a>is the scariest thing I have ever seen. Gives me chills just thinking about it.</li>
<li>Why not take an interactive, slightly unnerving <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/niveauk?annotation_id=annotation_109994&feature=iv&src_vid=XpO0eoh3hGs" target="_blank">first date</a> before you get out there?</li>
<li>I guess I am <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sMkTeHAorY8" target="_blank">human </a>after all.</li>
<li>This is an excellent <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ltun92DfnPY" target="_blank">spoken-word piece</a>. Do yourself a favor and listen to it.</li>
<li>Here is a great presentation about how <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CKCvf8E7V1g" target="_blank">rich people DO NOT create jobs</a>.</li>
<li>The world is a much better place <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=z9pD_UK6vGU" target="_blank">if you are not too bright for it</a>.</li>
<li>Drink it now! It's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nITLob098W8" target="_blank">Earth juice</a>!</li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Miscellany:</span></b></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li>You should definitely <a href="http://maps.geotastic.org/rude/" target="_blank">check here</a> first if you are looking for Wet Beaver.</li>
<li>If you are ever frustrated with your coworkers, just <a href="http://hadonejob.com/" target="_blank">go here</a> and be thankful you don't work with these guys.</li>
<li>This is generally <a href="http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/page/6" target="_blank">how I picture all cat owners</a>.</li>
<li>I'm not sure why, but <a href="http://neave.com/television/" target="_blank">this </a>is disturbingly addicting.</li>
<li>This just about sums up the entire internet, and <a href="http://www.theuselessweb.com/" target="_blank">it is awesome</a>.</li>
<li>Sadly, I've spent way too mush time on <a href="http://iloveyoulikeafatladylovesapples.com/" target="_blank">this</a>.</li>
<li>I know this is going to be weird for me to say, but <a href="https://www.khanacademy.org/" target="_blank">this site</a> is actually quite useful.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.zombo.com/" target="_blank">Waaaait for it</a>...Waaait for it....What the?</li>
<li>Here is a <a href="http://www.cokeandpopcorn.ch/" target="_blank">website </a>after my own heart.</li>
<li>This is the <a href="http://emergencyyodel.com/" target="_blank">panic button</a> I have been needing in case of emergencies.</li>
<li>OK. Be warned. This is weird, and don't blame me if you waste 5 hours on <a href="http://www.boohbah.tv/zone.html" target="_blank">this site</a>.</li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-15624011753844543792013-02-06T07:52:00.002-07:002013-02-06T07:52:17.200-07:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol. 13Take a look at some of the internet gems this month. I promise I'll try to find the weird part of the internet again one of these days.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><b>Videos</b></span>:<br />
<ol>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RtlYi1yLTVQ" target="_blank">This guy</a> has got to be a community college teacher.</li>
<li>Women, don't cover up your <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tieA5wfcgH4" target="_blank">lady prizes</a>.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=E2Op2OjZWkU" target="_blank">This </a>is what we have to look forward to.</li>
<li>Somebody had way, WAY <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5G0j_Huv2Fg" target="_blank">too much time</a> on their hands.</li>
<li>Come pick up all of your <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Zce-QT7MGSE" target="_blank">floor bags</a>, you ain't livin' in Southeast Asia.</li>
<li>The ABC's of Death, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=UCmMebE0pIg" target="_blank">a great claymation short</a>.</li>
<li>This is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/eyehandy" target="_blank">one way</a> to get people to watch your boring-ass how-to videos.</li>
<li>Here is the latest installment to the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=A6XUVjK9W4o" target="_blank">People Are Awesome</a> series.</li>
<li>Ever seen Manhattan pile into the ocean? Either has anyone else, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hC3VTgIPoGU" target="_blank">until now</a>.</li>
<li>All of these <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=2MFmC6BD1B4" target="_blank">NonStampCollector </a>videos are hilarious. Do yourself a favor and watch them all.</li>
</ol>
<br />
<div style="color: blue;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Miscellany:</b></span></div>
<ol>
<li><a href="http://www.magicalmaths.org/how-japanese-kids-learn-to-multiply/" target="_blank">How Japanese kids learn to multiply</a>. It's not as dirty as it sounds.</li>
<li>Worried that your backyard bunker isn't ideally situated for a 100MT nuclear blast in Topeka? <a href="http://www.nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/" target="_blank">Worry no more</a>, weirdass.</li>
<li>Although less that 1% of known species are shown <a href="http://www.zo.utexas.edu/faculty/antisense/downloadfilestol.html" target="_blank">here</a>, this is still a pretty cool visualization. I dare you to get this tattooed on your face, hipster.</li>
<li>Lesson #253: Never tell the people of the internet <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/bennyjohnson/this-is-what-the-internet-does-to-a-photo-of-obama" target="_blank">what not to do</a>.</li>
</ol>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-70495502925043173632013-01-02T09:46:00.003-07:002013-01-02T09:46:51.032-07:00Why the Internet Was invented, Vol. 12<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Another slow month for links. I was too busy doing nothing to do the nothing that I usually don't do. Happy New Year, Everybody.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Videos:</b></span></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">I don't know whether it is sad or good that I only recognize ~25% of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=If5MF4wm1T8" target="_blank">these songs.</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"> A great <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9ysyZF-DZFY" target="_blank">MTV smackdown</a> on the younger generation.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">How to annoy a misanthrope with your <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6853117/look-at-this-instagram-nickelback-parody" target="_blank">shitty pictures</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=lpmRiupbOgI" target="_blank">Take two</a> and call me...never.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=IO64urOFNaY" target="_blank">The Voice</a> does an excellent tribute for the Connecticut shooting.</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"> Miscellany:</span></b></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">I'm not exactly sure why <a href="http://www.rsdb.org/races" target="_blank">this</a> exists, but you're welcome.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Although this is just a <a href="https://googledrive.com/host/0B2GQktu-wcTiZlAyTTFEaFVuOUk/" target="_blank">simulation, </a>it still gives you a good idea of where we are in the U.S.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">This is an absolutely amazing interactive news article about the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/projects/2012/snow-fall/#/?part=tunnel-creek" target="_blank">avalanche at Tunnel Creek</a>. </span></li>
</ol>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-71574683363404365402012-11-30T08:29:00.001-07:002012-11-30T08:30:11.236-07:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol. 11<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Another somewhat tame month on the worldwide weird. I think someone needs to go check on Japan to see if they're OK.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="color: blue;">Videos:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li>I know what you think you though <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0nVvRwrgsGU" target="_blank">you heard</a>, but that wasn't it.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1oHWvFrpocY" target="_blank">This kid</a> has a onesie of fury.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1AHDNTXYSA&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">Baruch hata</a> I'm annoyed!</li>
<li>I've always wanted to give one of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=uoqE_zKxQe8" target="_blank">these</a>, but I never knew how.</li>
<li>Red Bull gives us the Rube Goldberg <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=M0jmSsQ5ptw" target="_blank">athlete machine</a>.</li>
<li>What happens when you combine peanuts, nougat, caramel, milk chocolate and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=A8SCIGqhct8" target="_blank">the internet</a>? I think you know.</li>
<li>Neil Degrasse Tyson explains the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7pL5vzIMAhs" target="_blank">purpose of the universe</a>...or lack thereof.</li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Miscellany:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li>If you can mail order brides, why not <a href="http://mailorderhusbands.net/love/order/" target="_blank">this</a>?</li>
<li>The biblical <a href="http://archive.org/stream/bibledefenceofsl00inprie#page/n5/mode/2up" target="_blank">defense of slavery</a>.</li>
<li>I used to love getting <a href="https://archive.org/details/omni-magazine" target="_blank">this magazine</a> when I was a kid. Now everyone can enjoy it.</li>
<li> As a parent, <a href="http://www.shitmykidsruined.com/" target="_blank">I can totally relate</a>.</li>
<li>I'm surprise <a href="http://www.theuselessweb.com/" target="_blank">this </a>just doesn't take you right back where you started.</li>
<li>First of all, how is this a <a href="http://www.myholysmoke.com/" target="_blank">viable business</a>? Second of all, I'm changing my will immediately.</li>
<li>Fell like flying through the galaxy? <a href="http://workshop.chromeexperiments.com/stars/" target="_blank">Now you can</a>.</li>
<li>Turns out, I'm a shitty <a href="http://www.typingkaraoke.com/" target="_blank">typist</a>. </li>
</ol>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-60977683470093693712012-10-31T08:14:00.001-06:002012-10-31T08:16:26.893-06:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol. 10<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Well, folks here is my latest list. Strangely, this month isn't too terribly weird. Japan must be on holiday.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Videos:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Lt2MIB8oCK0" target="_blank">This guy</a> thinks his sister is hot. He now works for Disney.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Mr. Rogers telling congress that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=yXEuEUQIP3Q#%21" target="_blank">Big Bird matters</a>. Suck it, Romney.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">This is a great <a href="http://vimeo.com/49224248" target="_blank">animated short</a> by Bellecour.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">I know women like <a href="http://vimeo.com/45024704" target="_blank">uncomfortable shoes</a>, but this is getting ridiculous.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Ever wonder how <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=gAQ6jRMhw1M" target="_blank">The Simpsons</a> would look in real life? Wonder no more.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">How many tubes do you think <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7ZmJtYaUTa0#%21" target="_blank">this guy</a> went through?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">I love these <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3GagfbA2vo&feature=channel&list=UL" target="_blank">Crash Course</a> videos. Watch them all.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Take a look at <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=myxwCEGcBYc#%21" target="_blank">the real bears</a> from the soda commercials.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD7PB-6TWrg&feature=related" target="_blank">Cyanide & Happiness </a>give us a lesson in wilderness survival...I think.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Bpy75q2DDow" target="_blank">Bodyform </a>responds to a little consumer criticism.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">The <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGzghUQRVk8&feature=related" target="_blank">shadow of the undertaker</a> creeps across your floor. Disturbingly awesome.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">I dare you to watch <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UaJAnnipkY" target="_blank">this whole video</a>, but I wouldn't recommend it.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Oh, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrKSWocbbdw&oref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Furl%3Fsa%3Dt%26rct%3Dj%26q%3D%26esrc%3Ds%26source%3Dweb%26cd%3D2%26sqi%3D2%26ved%3D0CCMQFjAB%26url%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.youtube.com%252Fwatch%253Fv%253DGrKSWocbbdw%26ei%3DrC-RUMeeJqmOygH_6oDABg%26usg%3DAFQjCNHNUfq-tpYf8B4-LERy75t27A553Q&has_verified=1&has_verified=1" target="_blank">Internet</a>. I love you.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">You think that you had a bad time losing your virginity? Take a listen to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqr89_LIFE4" target="_blank">this guy</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">If you ever think that you're a bad ass, tell it to the guy that <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ncc_ZZ9iCyk" target="_blank">jumped out of a spaceship</a>. </span></li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Miscellany:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">This is an awesome interactive, 3D walk-through documentary about the <a href="http://paris.3ds.com/en-experience.html?lang=en" target="_blank">history of Paris</a>. Check it out.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Some nerd had way too much time on their <a href="http://lotrproject.com/index.php" target="_blank">freaky little hobbit hands</a>. No, it wasn't me.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Want to free up your schedule and travel the world? Ain't nobody got time for that. Check out the <a href="https://www.google.com/intl/en/culturalinstitute/worldwonders/yellowstone/" target="_blank">World Wonders Project</a> from Google instead.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Another interactive documentary. This one is about <a href="http://cloudsovercuba.com/" target="_blank">Cuba and the cold war</a>. Effing brilliant.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">This is what a picture of <a href="http://www.eso.org/public/images/eso1242a/zoomable/" target="_blank">84 million stars</a> looks like.See if you can count them all.</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-4610600617309370182012-10-17T13:31:00.002-06:002012-10-17T13:34:27.848-06:00Top 20 Zombie Movies of All Time<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Greetings, boils and ghouls! 'Tis the season for me to regale you with another list of horror movie classics. Last year we covered the Top 20 Horror movies of All Time. This year I'm feeling a bit more specialized, so let's dive feet-first into the rotting sub-genre of zombie movies. Zombies have undergone a huge resurgence in the last five years in theaters, on television and in recreational drugs. There is even a zombie-themed nationwide sporting event making this list will be somewhat apropos. As such, more of the movies that have made my list were made in this century than last century, which is very different than the first horror movie list. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">So, without further ado, I give you Daniel P. Daniel's Top 20 Zombie Movies of All Time. Enjoy.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">20. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzEA5R0XHOQ" target="_blank">Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead</a> (2006):</span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzEA5R0XHOQ"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none;"></span><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"></span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"> OK. Admittedly this musical-comedy horror
exploitation film from Troma Entertainment doesn’t make too many lists, but if
you can somehow muster the fortitude to sit through the whole movie I’m sure it
will make one of yours.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">19. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XW8F1boWgv0" target="_blank">Night of the Creeps</a> (1986):</span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XW8F1boWgv0"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none;"> </span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Zombies, exploding heads, creepy crawlies, and Tom
Atkins…kinda sounds like a few of our keggers in college. This movie is
classic teen scream fun.</span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgFG1R1EdnWO3lA1rLgZxGvoRswmlsPBOedo2NTWi6B0P3lYnomPbXgmfRDf7IhCMyY2PEfV3iqFNZFgI1dFqLHcf7J3UL54u5FxZ3ZulvCOQy7aUQR56iRpCZmNXMZaYHUUSy_Xn45Z14/s1600/zombie_jason_venn_diagram.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgFG1R1EdnWO3lA1rLgZxGvoRswmlsPBOedo2NTWi6B0P3lYnomPbXgmfRDf7IhCMyY2PEfV3iqFNZFgI1dFqLHcf7J3UL54u5FxZ3ZulvCOQy7aUQR56iRpCZmNXMZaYHUUSy_Xn45Z14/s320/zombie_jason_venn_diagram.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Jason is not a zombie, people. Get over it.</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">18. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6dOoyghxb0" target="_blank">Night of the Comet</a> (1984): This movie is m</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">ostly about a Valley girl that shops her way through the
apocalypse, but I had such a crush on Catherine Mary Stewart when I was in
middle school this one had to be on the list.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">17. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtV3N9zRrJs" target="_blank">Aaah! Zombies!!</a> (2007): </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Told from the point of view of the
zombies themselves, this horror-comedy is a refreshing addition to the zombie
genre. Although this is a relatively low-budget affair, somehow Matthew
Kohnen manages to avoid the B-movie feel despite mixing soft serve ice cream
with beer.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">16. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g9XorBCikM&feature=related" target="_blank">Day of the Dead</a> (1985): George A. Romero’s third in his zombie series. This one plays more
like an extended <i>Twilight Zone</i> episode than <i>Night</i> and <i>Dawn</i>.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">15. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep1kTREdaqU" target="_blank">Dead Alive</a> (1992)</span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep1kTREdaqU"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none;"></span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">: The next addition to the list was directed by Peter Jackson before he went on to secure his
mainstream fortune by directing homo-erotic hobbit movies. It is almost universally
recognized as the goriest film ever made. Where else will you find mass
slaughter via lawnmower or priests that kick ass for the lord? I mean,
other than Colorado Springs.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">14. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVkQCDfIe38" target="_blank">Zombie Strippers</a> (2008):</span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVkQCDfIe38"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none;"> </span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Robert Englund. Jenna Jameson. Zombies.
Strippers. What else is there to say? Seriously.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">13. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Mo6C6up1Qo" target="_blank">Fido</a> (2006): </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">This is a hilarious take on the genre. What could
possibly go wrong when we decide to keep zombies around to perform menial
tasks? My favorite line in the movie comes from hottie Carrie Ann Moss: "Fido, is Timmy in trouble?"</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">12. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azD2mfdw0kU" target="_blank">The Crazies</a> (2010): </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">This is a remake of the 1973 Romero film with a few modern
twists. It’s a mad, mad world.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">11. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atXJB9luiko" target="_blank">Land of the Dead</a> (2005): </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">George Romero triumphantly returns to the genre that he
created by remaking one of his own films. Dennis Hopper plays the part of
the bad guy brilliantly, but the zombies are learning.</span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIZ3NK1pJoeEViTSXDrQmzV_rh_RqbBiUa37ZuE7kFCqSUlm5LoBD2eHeI_LoRbpRtpkTQ5F9jjqlXSqcCAEoRaDaOg80tBzRra7By74P97kgMlYKetJej3OwpDaE_oZY6YpE4ZU1PjcGG/s1600/I-120629915.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIZ3NK1pJoeEViTSXDrQmzV_rh_RqbBiUa37ZuE7kFCqSUlm5LoBD2eHeI_LoRbpRtpkTQ5F9jjqlXSqcCAEoRaDaOg80tBzRra7By74P97kgMlYKetJej3OwpDaE_oZY6YpE4ZU1PjcGG/s320/I-120629915.jpg" width="210" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Didn't make the list.</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">10. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXWm4Gwbf18" target="_blank">Night of the Living Dead</a>
(1990)/(1968): </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">The 1990 remake follows the 1968 version almost
shot-for-shot. The only thing that the remake has going for it are more
modern special effects and color film. If I was forced to choose between
the two I would go with the original.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">9. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap4TiNIKQJ8" target="_blank">Dead Snow</a> (2009): </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">This movie had me saying something that I don’t believe anyone
has ever said in the history of human existence - "There sure aren’t enough
Norwegian zombie comedies out there." What do you get when you add a group
of medical students to frozen Nazi zombies? I think you know.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">8. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBi00ZiqIv4" target="_blank">Planet Terror</a> (2007): </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">I immediately fell in love with this nonstop action-horror
masterpiece. Originally released as part of Rodriguez and Quentin
Tarantino's ambitious Grindhouse double bill, <i>Planet </i>is a throwback to the
early days of drive-in horror complete with intentionally gritty cinematography
and completely implausible story lines. Brilliant.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">7. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=071KqJu7WVo" target="_blank">Zombieland </a>(2009): </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">This is one of those films that broke onto the scene in the
midst of the zombie revival and kicked it into high gear. I could argue
Columbus’ 33 rules to live by have more basis in reality than most
religions…but I won’t.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">6. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wylpeAXYcBQ" target="_blank">The Return of the Living Dead</a> (1985): </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Dan O’Bannon’s work shook up the zombie horror genre by
introducing us to fast-moving zombies and giving us the now-ubiquitous zombie
call-to-arms, "Braaaains!" Plus, any movie with James Karen in
it is automatically creepy by default.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">5. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHZyr2-vKAY" target="_blank">Re-Animator</a> (1985): First in the <i>Re-Animator</i> series of
sci-fi horror comedies and based on H.P. Lovecraft’s book, “Herbert West –
Reanimator,” this is the movie that truly cemented my addiction to low-budget
horror. I must have watched this 47 times while in high school.
That probably explains a lot now that I think about it.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">4. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEkJAaGhJhQ" target="_blank">28 Days Later</a> (2003):</span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEkJAaGhJhQ"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none;"> </span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Super-fast, rage-infected, blood-puking zombies, need I say more? Danny Boyle’s dystopic view of the future is both
frightening and involving. This nod to <i>Dawn of the Dead</i> quickly
devolves into a gore-fest, but, remember, it’s the animal rights activists’
fault.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">3. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfDUv3ZjH2k" target="_blank">Shaun of the Dead</a> (2004)</span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfDUv3ZjH2k"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none;">: </span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">When the dead walk a hero rises…from his sofa. This
is the first of the Three Flavors of Cornetto series from director Edgar Wright
in which he manages to somehow combine a British romantic comedy with homages
to the more traditional powerhouses in the genre like George Romero and Sam
Raimi.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">2. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aLLP9YpApc" target="_blank">Evil Dead II</a> (1987): Sam Raimi and
the ultimate horror movie hero, Bruce Campbell, enter the list with this
brilliant horror-comedy sequel. The joy which the cast and crew take in
creating a masterpiece of slapstick gore is obvious. <i>Evil Dead 2</i> is a
must-see for all connoisseurs of truly demented films.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">1. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LUzJAsa-gg" target="_blank">Dawn of the Dead</a> (2004): I chose
Zack Snyder’s take on George Romero's 1978 horror classic for one reason:
Richard Cheese singing “</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBOpk33VlSg" target="_blank">Get Down with the Sickness.</a>” Zombies,
shopping malls, gore (the zombie birth scene is particularly hard to take) and
celebrity assassinations – what more could you ask for?</span><br /><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Honorable mentions: Plan 9 From Outer Space, Waxwork, Pet
Cemetery, Resident Evil, Serpent and the Rainbow, and I Am Legend.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">What do you think? Did any of your favorites make the list?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibuFVu3h8NYXw_mHgWUihHTYIzA2ZvOnoktswcMJlcCKsGOSumrXlr3Ef0gnJbcoAh43DrJtn9qOvI2gw0BbrO6-5gxnoayTpo5Klb3jLc_8peWDfw7B2Bt0q-16WwJIyfsdneSjanjVgt/s1600/GoodGrief800_Hillgrove.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibuFVu3h8NYXw_mHgWUihHTYIzA2ZvOnoktswcMJlcCKsGOSumrXlr3Ef0gnJbcoAh43DrJtn9qOvI2gw0BbrO6-5gxnoayTpo5Klb3jLc_8peWDfw7B2Bt0q-16WwJIyfsdneSjanjVgt/s400/GoodGrief800_Hillgrove.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Good grief!</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span>
</div>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-10366909692524254022012-10-02T09:19:00.002-06:002012-10-02T09:19:19.258-06:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol. 9Hello, DanielPDansters. Here's the latest installment. I know it's not too impressive, but hopefully the interwebs will get weird again next month.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Videos:</span></b></span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Another installment for the<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nEx2zQ_0Inc" target="_blank"> literary buffs</a> in the audience.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I SOOO want to see <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JK-Fbj_FV2I#!" target="_blank">this masterpiece</a>.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=flRg9Q1d3kY" target="_blank">Glove and Boots</a> video blog is effing brilliant. Watch every one. Thank me later.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So...<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4dMndTTVlTE#!" target="_blank">this exists</a>.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not surprisingly, Samuel L. Jackson is <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og35U0d6WKY&feature=share" target="_blank">not a republican</a>.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have such a crush on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypRW5qoraTw&feature=player_embedded" target="_blank">Sarah Silverman</a>.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Science Guys tells <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHbYJfwFgOU&feature=player_embedded" target="_blank">creationists</a> to stuff it.</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Miscellany:</span></b></span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Remember how impressed we were with Mars? <a href="http://www.mentallandscape.com/C_CatalogVenus.htm" target="_blank">Try Venus</a>.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://xkcd.com/1093/" target="_blank">When will you forget</a>? I can't remember what I ate for breakfast.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now<a href="http://cultso.com/artist-takes-every-drug-known-to-man-draws-self-portraits-after-each-use/" target="_blank"> this </a>is a dedicated artist.</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></li>
</ol>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-1342834869183227882012-08-31T09:45:00.002-06:002012-08-31T09:45:48.804-06:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol. 8Take a look at what the web had to offer last month. Enjoy!<br />
<br />
<div style="color: blue;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Videos:</b></span></div>
<ol>
<li>What are the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut3URdEzlKQ&feature=player_embedded#%21" target="_blank">hidden costs of hamburgers</a>? Fuck cows, that's what.</li>
<li>If <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WoZ2BgPVtA0#%21" target="_blank">this</a> doesn't make you cry you are a heartless bastard (with no appreciation of the power of engineering design).</li>
<li>This is<a href="http://www.360pano.eu/show/?id=731" target="_blank"> the surface of another planet </a>in HD. Let me repeat that. This is the surface of ANOTHER EFFING PLANET IN HD!</li>
<li>What would <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuyCW8pDdao&feature=player_embedded" target="_blank">Yiayia</a> think?</li>
<li>Here is a look at the <a href="http://blog.ted.com/2012/08/21/the-20-most-watched-ted-talks-to-date/" target="_blank">Top 20 Most Influential TED</a> talks. I love TED.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_Pzqq9sxKkY" target="_blank">The Newsroom</a> knocks it out of the park, again.</li>
<li>Now, this is how you send off <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xI6TRTBZUMM" target="_blank">fallen warriors</a>.</li>
<li>Thanks for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Fv%3Dx3esHzUDp8Q%26sns%3Dem" target="_blank">keeping it weird</a>, Japan. What the actual fuck?</li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHt4IEyYuyQ&sns=em" target="_blank">Alicia reads</a> "Leaves of Grass" by Walt Whitman. Wait, what is going on here?</li>
<li>I never knew <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=S_DQUAuNUvw" target="_blank">Spencer Tracy was so awesome</a>. He's my new hero.</li>
<li>Here's a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KtzqvqzBdUQ" target="_blank">PSA for Republican women</a>. Seems legit.</li>
</ol>
<br />
<div style="color: blue;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Miscellany:</b></span></div>
<ol>
<li>We are getting <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2012/08/05/sports/olympics/the-100-meter-dash-one-race-every-medalist-ever.html?hp" target="_blank">faster and stronger </a>with every passing generation. This is a great illustration of how far we have come.</li>
<li>Finally, someone who <a href="http://thedoghousediaries.com/4491" target="_blank">folds fitted sheets</a> the same way I do.</li>
<li><a href="http://justwebware.com/powerball/powerball.html" target="_blank">Here you go</a>, Lotto Dorks. Stop wasting your money.</li>
<li>Ever think you've had too much coffee? Drink so much Red Bull that you can see into next week? <a href="http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine" target="_blank">How much is too much</a>?</li>
<li>Hey, what are you <a href="http://www.pointerpointer.com/" target="_blank">pointing</a> at?</li>
<li>Here's a <a href="http://www.retronaut.co/" target="_blank">sweet site</a> that let's you dig deep into our very weird past.</li>
<li>I sincerely hope <a href="http://www.fingrr.com/" target="_blank">this</a> catches on.</li>
</ol>
Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-48578504714993968832012-08-02T08:05:00.001-06:002012-08-02T08:07:17.406-06:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol 7<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Here is this month's dive into the dusty corners of the internet.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Videos:</b></span></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">I wish I would have written <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16K6m3Ua2nw&feature=player_embedded#%21" target="_blank">this</a>. Absolutely brilliant.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">An <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66molzUEkWI&feature=player_embedded" target="_blank">Olympic montage</a> from Muse.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TxkTWtFWdY" target="_blank">Little pigs</a>, little pigs, let me come in...</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Just <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO7MWuJ7zLA&feature=player_embedded#%21" target="_blank">an Asian guy</a> in lederhosen yodeling to chickens. No big deal.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">If you thought the shake weight or the hula chair were bad I give you the newest <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MzzLsJEzR8&feature=player_embedded" target="_blank">Korean fitness craze.</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDLrwwOxnaA&feature=player_embedded#%21" target="_blank">I'm with Neil.</a> Watch out, we've got a badass over here.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt4Dfa4fOEY&feature=player_embedded#%21" target="_blank">How English sounds to non-English speakers</a>. Coincidentally, also how nagging women sound most of the time.</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Miscellany:</b></span></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://moyakarta.ucoz.ru/rastr/anti-world-map.jpg" target="_blank">How the world should actually look</a>. Yes, I know it's weird.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Masterful graphite work of Paul Cadden. No,<a href="http://paulcadden.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=53&Itemid=54" target="_blank"> these are not photographs</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://fontbomb.ilex.ca/" target="_blank">Destroy the web</a> whenever you like.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Frame-by-frame drawings of a <a href="http://www.thejohnnycashproject.com/#/explore/TopRated" target="_blank">Johnny Cash video.</a> Completely awesome.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.dontevenreply.com/" target="_blank">Trolling </a>craigslist at its finest.</span></li>
</ol>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-91625152057272146152012-07-17T09:53:00.001-06:002012-07-17T12:21:25.777-06:00Getting There<div dir="ltr" id="internal-source-marker_0.6746487973511811" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">About
a hundred years ago a friend of mine asked me to do a simple
calculation. What calculation, you ask? The mass of eye boogers
created over a normal human lifespan? The amount of acceleration
required to launch the neighbors’ effing barking dog into the stratosphere? The amount of time he spends flipping through Popstar! magazines to
fuel his disturbing crush on Justin Bieber? Nope...thankfully </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">{<i>shudder</i>}</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">.
In this edition of The Missing Piece I am going to take a basic
low-level engineering approach to determine what the probability is that
an individual is actually going to heaven. On the surface this seems
like a pretty daunting task considering the charged atmosphere
surrounding religion and the necessarily nebulous rules that each one
employs to control its flock, but like most calculations I think we can
do get pretty close with a few assumptions. Here are the relevant
assumptions as I see them:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<ol>
<li><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">You either believe in God or you don’t.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Belief in God implies, in this case, that you subscribe to a certain religion.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The religion of your choice offers something more for your afterlife party.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Simply by subscribing to your religion Capital-G automagically opens
up the pearly gates regardless of your behavior while living.</span></li>
</ol>
</div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Before we begin, here is a short list of what I’m not going to do:</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<ol>
<li><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Dig through the dirty laundry of every religion to figure out which ones even believe in heaven.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Interview clergy from each religion (if there are even clergy) to determine how one acquires the exact directions to heaven.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Discuss the merits (if any) in belief in God or heaven or religion. I’ll save that for a later date.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Go to heaven.</span></li>
</ol>
</div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">With the above assumptions in mind, this should result in calculating the maximum probability of the devout meeting their maker</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNpCojeei8N7eTCyVCwFlXwJvrYdXh0aK4onFeL-YM7HE2FpAwRUoP1bezVwUR5pT9dLfoO38_FXKUd5FZNzDAK15jV8CczFUwa_K7yZ1duXhDR1EIBwIEop8Dbn1Q0KEa-SUzaykkn9w_/s1600/pullmyfinger6auuh3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNpCojeei8N7eTCyVCwFlXwJvrYdXh0aK4onFeL-YM7HE2FpAwRUoP1bezVwUR5pT9dLfoO38_FXKUd5FZNzDAK15jV8CczFUwa_K7yZ1duXhDR1EIBwIEop8Dbn1Q0KEa-SUzaykkn9w_/s320/pullmyfinger6auuh3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">First,
it seems obvious that an individual has two choices: believe in a
supreme being (believer) or don’t (atheist). Therefore, one’s odds of
believing in God is 1 out of 2 or 0.5.</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Now,
of the people that believe in God some subset of them think that their
deity (or deities) is THE ONE that holds their ticket to a cushy
afterlife. To these believers everyone else is a non-believing
interloper that will boil in a vat of camel oil for eternity. Based on
that “logic” it is fair to assume that each religion is mutually
exclusive. So, theoretically, one of them must be the one true
religion, all others are shite. Currently there are approximately 4,200
religious groups that exist on Earth, each believing they are the
shining light and the beacon of hope for all humanity. As of this
writing, the current population of the planet is 6,973,738,433. Based
on those numbers (assuming an even distribution) there is roughly one
religion for every 1,660,414 people on the planet. I think it is fair
to assume that religion has been around as long as humans have.
Certainly archaeological digs seem to support this. Over the course of
human history there have been approximately 108 billion people that
have walked the Earth. Surely those people had souls, too; they must
have gone somewhere, right? If we assume the same ratio of religions to
people over the course of human history there have been 65,044
religions since we were created. Some of these religions are
monotheistic; some are polytheistic. The top two religions today (based
on the number of followers only) are monotheistic; however, number
three on the list has no less than 306 deities, while some other
religions have been documented to have over 1000 deities. For the sake
of calculation I will use the low estimate of 100 gods per religion.
This means there have been somewhere on the order of 6.5 million gods
floating around the ether since Spider Grandmother used a hollow reed to
create the sky. For the benefit of doubt, let’s say there is about 50%
overlap of gods throughout history, so there really have only been 3.25
million gods. The believers’ temporal placement in history and
physical placement geographically generally dictate which of these gods
they choose, but for now I will leave this out and consider being a denizen of
the Earth to be enough.</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXbgsG1fhPdJoiEgnUASLkn1JqSDF-i_D0inPkTTMZhWe2FpcFc5QP9_x5ETrMP758Ton66Dj5SVEcECvXuFN0fsbAvaLjzn44BeaqIou-HSDMx_Txqj0UMXmpxH695NqB29h9XSDTi0Jd/s1600/greatest-movie-gods-20100408083804581.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXbgsG1fhPdJoiEgnUASLkn1JqSDF-i_D0inPkTTMZhWe2FpcFc5QP9_x5ETrMP758Ton66Dj5SVEcECvXuFN0fsbAvaLjzn44BeaqIou-HSDMx_Txqj0UMXmpxH695NqB29h9XSDTi0Jd/s320/greatest-movie-gods-20100408083804581.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">OK.
That’s most of the groundwork done. One of these religions and
therefore one of these gods holds the keys to the pearly gates. What
are the odds that the believer has selected the right one? Assuming
that there is some sort of natural selection or evolution of gods and
that one of the current deities that survives today is THE ONE, the odds
that someone has selected the right god today is approximately 1 out of
420,000 or 0.000002, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">if they are already a believer</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">.
Multiplying that by 100 to account for the number of gods in the
chosen religion, odds improve to 0.0002 or 0.02%. Multiplying that by
the chance of being a believer (0.5) the end result is 0.01%. That
doesn’t look too good. If there is no natural selection among gods then
all of the gods over all of human history are still in play, even
though we may not know who they are. Who knows, maybe He took all of
his followers with Him off to paradise already? Extending that
calculation over the whole of human history, the odds that the believer
has selected the right god is 0.0015%. Jesus. Hell must be huge!</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">To
be fair, true believers generally believe that God created the entire
universe so let’s include the rest of Her creation, shall we? Current
estimates for the number of exoplanets that lie within the habitable
zone of stars similar to our sun is somewhere on the order of 10 billion
in the Milky Way alone. The Milky Way is just one of approximately 200
billion galaxies (low estimate) in the universe. If even 0.1% of these
exoplanets within the habitable zone have some form of life and only
0.1% of those supports “intelligent” life then there will be ~10,000
planets that harbor intelligent life in the Milky Way. This translates
to 2,000,000,000,000,000 (2 million billion) planets in the universe
with intelligent life. One would assume that some percentage of those
would develop religions - let’s say 50%. Let’s further assume that
there are only 10 competing religions with 10 gods on each of those
exoplanets. That’s 1E17 more gods. Our measly number of gods (3.25
million) doesn’t even factor into the noise. Taking the chances of
believing in God (0.5), multiplied by the chance of selecting the “real”
God (1E-17), multiplied by the chances of that God being Earth-based
(5E-16), Multiplied by the number of gods per religion (on Earth, 100)
leaves the universal believer in the unenviable position of being right 1
out of 4,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times. Odin’s beard!
That’s really not good.</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Analyzing this a bit further, even if one assumes that we are alone in the universe </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">and</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">
one assumes the believer’s god is still around (I don’t think these are
fair assumptions, by the way), true believers have about a 0.01% of
selecting the correct deity and therefore going to heaven.
Interestingly, that means only 700,000 out of the nearly 7 billion
people on our fair planet may have a shot at reaching heaven. The rest of the teeming masses can go suck a lemon. Still,
the individual that chooses not to believe has a 50% chance of being
correct compared to 0.01% for the non-universal believer.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Choose
wisely.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-77623499552177501522012-07-10T07:55:00.002-06:002012-07-10T07:55:10.571-06:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol 6<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Here is this month's version of everything (well, not exactly everything) weird and wonderful.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">Videos</span></b>:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Somehow my vision of an <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXRaXgVQJJQ&feature=share" target="_blank">eternal Saturday</a> isn't quite as bizarre as this.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">People do strange things with their pets...<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-S4DZ_aWNuU#%21" target="_blank">strange and awesome things</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-178629120699935619&ei=DknNSemoOI24_AGuv4zXAg&q=Marjoe&client=firefox-a" target="_blank">This is an old video</a>, but it creeps me right the eff out.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Many children were harmed in the making of<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=AF_nfazQaek#%21" target="_blank"> this video</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">The symphony of science remixes <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OFzXaFbxDcM#%21" target="_blank">Mr. Rogers</a>. Oddly addicting.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Another symphony of science video <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxDOpAM2FrQ" target="_blank">explaining evolution</a>. The greatest show on earth.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Yeah, well...<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=VFIJo3A5Sdc#%21" target="_blank">just watch it</a>. You can kill me later.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Yes,<a href="http://www.rubberthemovie.com/" target="_blank"> this</a> is a real movie, and, yes, it is absolutely brilliant.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">I don't know how I didn't think of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T67EncQPwNk&feature=player_embedded" target="_blank">this</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">OH HELL YES! Feast your eyes on the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MxGtH-2duM&feature=player_embedded" target="_blank">Japanese Spider Man</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJlbPXZEpRE&feature=player_embedded#%21" target="_blank">Han shot first</a>, you bastard Lucas.</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> <b style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">Miscellany</span></b>:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">This is a brilliant book, and it is well read. Take a listen: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7323853F9696356D" target="_blank">How Religion Poisons Everything. </a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Ever wonder why it's taking so long to get you Billy the Bass special order from China? <a href="http://www.marinetraffic.com/ais/default.aspx?level0=100" target="_blank">Wonder no more</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Think you're a badass? Well, here are <a href="http://www.badassoftheweek.com/list.html" target="_blank">the kings of badassery</a>. How do you stand up now? That's what I thought.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">You have to read the <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=dp_db_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1" target="_blank">product reviews</a> for this one. Nevermind how I found the link.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://dinagoldstein.com/in-the-dollhouse/" target="_blank">Ken's coming-out page</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Feel like making a <a href="http://www.buildwithchrome.com/static/map" target="_blank">Lego structure in Australia</a>? Of course you do. You'll have to use Chrome to play.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">The <a href="http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/dr_executed_offenders.html" target="_blank">last words</a> of every person put to death in the state of Texas.</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-19511934766042123652012-05-30T13:45:00.002-06:002012-05-31T07:17:12.276-06:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol 5<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: small;">I think the internet was broken this month. It just wasn't bizarre enough for my tastes. </span><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Videos:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li>Get <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=eI9CvipHl_c" target="_blank">spaghettified </a>by the University of Colorado.</li>
<li>How to survive the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-G3RoBHMu-o" target="_blank">pending robot uprising</a>, sans Sarah Connor.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KKNaYlzssbc" target="_blank">Here's a little something</a> to honor the passing of Maurice Sendak earlier this month.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg747U4zbls&feature=endscreen&NR=1" target="_blank">This guy</a> thinks a lot like I do. I'm certain he pisses the hippies off.</li>
<li>Check out this sweet Ultrabook...oh, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=z1KBppDI9ok" target="_blank">the commercial</a> is cool, too.</li>
<li>OK. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vhHo6CUq4-o" target="_blank">This one</a> is a little weird.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NScs_qX2Okk" target="_blank">P&G's tribute </a>to all of the mother's out there that make it possible.</li>
<li>Pizza Hut's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ooD04tSj-QU" target="_blank">newest offering</a>. Ass-thunder!!!</li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Miscellany:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li>If you dig a hole in the middle of your backyard <a href="http://www.antipodemap.com/" target="_blank">where will you end up</a>? In the middle of an ocean, most likely.</li>
<li>Hey, G-plussers. Tired of the whitespace problem? <a href="http://thenextweb.com/socialmedia/2012/05/07/transform-google-into-the-ultimate-pinterest-clone-with-this-userscript/" target="_blank">Try this</a>.</li>
<li>Now you, too, can<a href="http://www.firebox.com/product/5300/Personalised-Superhero-Action-Figures" target="_blank"> be Wondergirl</a>...with a goatee.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.periodicvideos.com/" target="_blank">These guys</a> have way too much time on your hands, but they are fully awesome. </li>
<li>Yet another reason to believe that Colorado is the best state in the Union...<a href="http://popchartlab.com/products/breweries-of-the-united-states" target="_blank">our breweries</a>.</li>
<li>Next time someone says they will write your name in the stars tell them, "Bitch, please. I <a href="http://mygalaxies.co.uk/" target="_blank">write that shit in galaxies</a>!" </li>
</ol>
<br />Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-33165209551104423892012-05-02T12:44:00.002-06:002012-05-30T13:48:17.958-06:00Why the Internat Was Invented, Vol 4<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Here are some of the most...well, the best...er, the coolest...um, here are some links from April. Send me hate mail if you need to.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Videos:</b></span></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Be careful with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IbdnTeMGpM" target="_blank">this one</a>. It is strangely addicting.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zxee1uO3hTE" target="_blank">This explains</a> my neighbor's behavior.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2AP3VMAkpA&feature=related" target="_blank">The Product Testing Institute.</a> Do yourself a favor and watch them all.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Yeah,<a href="http://vimeo.com/35058030" target="_blank"> this is weird</a>. What do you expect?</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Miscellany:</b></span></div>
<ol>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is how I imagine <a href="http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2012/04/05/the-adventures-of-annoying-jesus-2/gallery/image/ngg-image-7487/" target="_blank">guardian angels</a>.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My dog isn't nearly<a href="http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/" target="_blank"> this cool</a>. He just sleeps and drools all day.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you Google Maps for finally making <a href="http://www.mapofthedead.com/" target="_blank">something useful</a>.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you need to waste a day or two, <a href="http://www.incredibox.com/en/#/application" target="_blank">this will do it</a>.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I wish I could <a href="http://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/home" target="_blank">give this</a> to everyone before they are allowed to talk to me.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://gomix.it/" target="_blank">This is brilliant</a>. I have it on constantly at my desk.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.sembeo.com/media/Matrix.swf" target="_blank">This simple matrix</a> will keep you busy for at least two minutes.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If you've ever wondered who is responsible for ruining everything, </span><a href="http://www.theyrule.net/" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" target="_blank">here you go</a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">.</span></span></li>
</ol>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-31712576853229232972012-04-03T12:24:00.001-06:002012-04-03T12:25:58.889-06:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol 3<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Feast your eyes on the best the websphere had to offer in March. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Videos:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Are you <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kMAt0a5EWw0#%21" target="_blank">thick as a brick</a>? I think maybe you are.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">What if the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vDGrfhJH1P4#%21" target="_blank">Three Little Pigs</a> was set in modern times?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wBec95Mv8G8#%21" target="_blank">Going West</a>. Absolutely brilliant animation and reading.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">You're going to hate me for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PL8CD8PjVmA#%21" target="_blank">this</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZUG9qYTJMsI" target="_blank">Dollar Shave Club</a>'s brilliant ad. Yes, it is real.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hgCqz3l33kU" target="_blank">M 'effin bike</a>, Bitches!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LdjY6oy4Y2c#%21" target="_blank">Just Darth Vader</a>...wearing a kilt...playing the Imperial March...on bagpipes...while riding a unicycle.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?src_vid=mFzJxGwqpOU&feature=iv&list=PL93CC27AD6B186ACF&annotation_id=annotation_184232&v=q6QJQouMhRU" target="_blank">The Gentleman's Rant</a>. Don't blame me if you waste all day watching these.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HKQQAv5svkk" target="_blank">Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking and Arthur C. Clarke </a>tackle small problems like: God, the universe and everything.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Screw the bike. Get ready for the<a href="http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Ffeature%3Dplayer_embedded%26v%3DaHpDPuh8A2Q" target="_blank"> M 'effin pterodactyl</a>!</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Miscellany:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://www.airpano.com/" target="_blank">360 degree areal panoramic views</a> all around the world.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Some of the excellent artwork of <a href="http://www.peleng.byethost12.com/index.htm" target="_blank">Sergey Kolesov</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Ever wanted to connect Lincoln Logs to Legos? <a href="http://fffff.at/free-universal-construction-kit/" target="_blank">Now you can</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe Disney's ripped-off stories wouldn't be so annoying if they were animated like <a href="http://geektyrant.com/news/2012/1/11/sexy-2012-disney-princess-pin-up-calendar-wowzers.html" target="_blank">this</a>. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">You'll need to use Chrome to follow <a href="https://www.biodigitalhuman.com/default.html" target="_blank">this link</a>, but it's worth it.</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</div>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-32358089929557911042012-02-29T20:43:00.001-07:002012-02-29T20:43:07.963-07:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Vol. 2<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Here's the second installment of the best the internet has to offer. Well, almost. You can't post belly-punching fetish links on Blogspot. As always, let me know what you think.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Life-Altering Videos:</span></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">A preview of what the end of the world is going to look like: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YQIMGV5vtd4">The Swarm</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=17jymDn0W6U">What the universe looks like.</a> No, seriously.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PWMyRrkU2pg">Parkour</a> is not for pussies.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MejbOFk7H6c">OK Go</a> can't just play a song normally, can they?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj1Jytiw8e0&feature=player_embedded">A modern Samurai.</a> Yes, I said "Samurai".</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=lIOdvXE7kbI">This</a> may be a little blasphemous.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0PlwDbSYicM">How Superman ruined the world</a>...and died.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Even though this is a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aMfSGt6rHos">commercial</a> it is still pretty cool.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=SS-sWdAQsYg&vq=medium">Try not to cry on your keyboard,</a> will ya?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Hey, kids! <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=oLMydhMqWDQ">It's story time!</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Ffeature%3Dplayer_embedded%26v%3Dm0vQOnHW0Kc">Vegans are studs.</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">The best<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4Am7oKBD3PU"> community college commercial</a> ever.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5rf1Bn3Rg0o">An exploding whale.</a> Enough said.</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Miscellany:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/ezra-klein/post/column-doing-the-math-on-obamas-deficits/2011/08/25/gIQALDBchQ_blog.html">Suck on it</a>, Gee Dub fanboys. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">A visual perspective of the <a href="http://static.flabber.net/files/scale-of-the-universe-2.swf">scale of the universe.</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.pcrm.org/good-medicine/2007/autumn/health-vs-pork-congress-debates-the-farm-bill">Why does a salad cost more than a Big Mac?</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Welcome back. The internet missed you. <a href="http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/Amazing+Horse/">Your horse is truly amazing.</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Take the time to watch the series. <a href="http://www.everythingisaremix.info/watch-the-series/">This is both brilliant and important.</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://alltelleringet.com/portfolio/personal/">Erik Johansson</a> and his impossible photographs.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">A <a href="http://bear71.nfb.ca/#/bear71">fully interactive documentary</a> told from the perspective of...a bear.</span></li>
</ol>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-79082805141588398522012-02-01T11:01:00.001-07:002012-02-01T11:06:42.221-07:00Why the Internet Was Invented, Volume 1<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Greeting followers of The Great and Powerful Daniel P. Daniel! I'd like to start a new monthly addition to The Missing Piece. What do you say? That's what I thought, too, but then I realized that I don't have the resources to clone Gillian Anderson. So, as a secondary, less-awesome suggestion, at the beginning of each month I am going to share with you the links that I found worthy of the internet in the previous month. They are certainly not all of the links that I perused, and it will definitely <i>not</i> be a comprehensive list of all of the trending memes (read: no shitty cat pictures). It <i>will</i> hopefully be a short list of the links that made me laugh, cry or think. Some of them will be interesting. Some (well, most...who are we kidding) will be strange. And some of them may get you fired or registered on the FBI's potential offender database. So browse with care. You may be a lot weirder in the end than when you started. Hopefully you find them interesting as well, and I don't get detained indefinitely by Big Brother for SOPA/PIPA violations... Enjoy, and be sure to let me know if there are any that I missed.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="color: blue;">Life-Altering Videos: </b></span></span></div>
<ol style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_TBd-UCwVAY"> It's Time.</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_HXUhShhmY">Her Morning Elegance</a> - Oren Lavie</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zn7-fVtT16k">Einstein vs. Hawking</a> - Epic Rap Battles of History</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB7thoVO0lA">The American Dream</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://vimeo.com/35055590">Hello</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qqB3F6N527U">Stephen Fry</a> from the Intelligence Squared Debate</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/fec6d23f5c/charlie-brown-blockheads-revenge">Blockhead's Revenge</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ntDYjS0Y3w">The Bark Side</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7ezeYJUz-84">Star Wars Uncut</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2012/01/12/return-of-the-farting-jedi-who-farts/">Return of the (Farting) Jedi</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxoUUbMii7Q&feature=youtu.be">The Three little Pigs</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Te0V71sGoxA">Motorcycle vs. Car Drift Battle</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dcDN409ZBv4">Flying People in New York</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2012/01/10/why-james-bond-is-an-arse/">Why James Bond is an Arse </a></span></li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigGux_AUC8Hmy1lzXyvr61lMUPoRtdSb3U0ZGjMWuosStTM8FDK5ykd9Tz6LtH6fos50HlsgCepbn0NaH8uzlFT2Sv7J0eyE21zRT0-wKWLuE-lIoJ2QmvJRlIoCsYKuhNdJ4IyxBth9hR/s1600/goldfish-2-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="color: blue;">Miscellany: </b></span></span></div>
<ol style="text-align: justify;">
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.tecca.com/columns/top-10-recut-movie-trailers">Recut Movie Trailers</a></span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2012/01/riusuke-fukahori-paints-three-dimensional-goldfish-embedded-in-layers-of-resin/">The Artwork of Riusuke Fukahori</a></span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.christianity-revealed.com/cr/files/whensamesexmarriagewasachristianrite.html">When Same-Sex Marriage Was a Christian Rite</a></span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.freakonomics.com/2012/01/12/how-much-do-music-and-movie-piracy-really-hurt-the-u-s-economy/">Does Music and Movie Piracy Hurt?</a></span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com/">How It Should Have Ended</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://movies.ign.com/articles/121/1217367p1.html" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Asian Cinema's 20 Greatest Fight Scenes</a> </span></li>
</ol>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-44062734459665742632011-11-21T10:49:00.001-07:002011-12-02T06:27:17.776-07:00Android Apps That Are Actually Useful<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">A couple of months ago my trusty flip phone finally circled the drain after several years of unfaltering service. So I bit the bullet and upgraded to a smartphone. All I really wanted was a phone with a decent camera, but as I soon found out the only option for that was to go with the smartphone. I’d been dragging my feet on the upgrade for a while despite the constant pleas from Her Indoors. I’m not sure what it is about these phones that I dislike so much. I’m a serious tech geek in all other aspects of life, and I’m an early-adopter on most other pieces of technology. However, with regards to phones I tend to lean more into crotchety old man status. I think it is probably the way people constantly rely on them to relay every painfully useless morsel of information about their life to those in their social circle. At the same time they make people more socially inept. I see groups of friends gathered together to have a pint, but rather than being present with their mates they’ve got their faces focused on their mobile device. People are constantly answering messages, checking emails, doing web searches while in the middle of a conversation with no indication of what they are doing. It’s rude. In my mind it’s the same as turning your back on someone that is talking to you mid-sentence and engaging someone else in a conversation. Anyway, this isn’t supposed to be a rant against mobile devices. They are amazingly versatile and powerful pieces of technology, and they can be very useful if configured properly. In the end I purchased HTC’s Incredible 2 because it had a great combination of features, and I’m not an Apple fanboy. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeL_vDyncGQS8CR4Yv4R114pSgT7S-EEFZ6wF3QCvZelvEUY6dAxybc7V2cfoh1trDAueHENG7ZJY9cj0_r9M4RQFO3khuVq800YljEC5klc7R6ts8sp_Odeu2W-950KT7vjE0f64r1jRl/s1600/HTC_Incredible_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeL_vDyncGQS8CR4Yv4R114pSgT7S-EEFZ6wF3QCvZelvEUY6dAxybc7V2cfoh1trDAueHENG7ZJY9cj0_r9M4RQFO3khuVq800YljEC5klc7R6ts8sp_Odeu2W-950KT7vjE0f64r1jRl/s400/HTC_Incredible_2.jpg" width="325" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">So after a few months of use I thought I’d put together an incomplete list of applications that allow the mobile device to actually be somewhat smart and marginally useful. Of course Android devices come preloaded with a crapload of questionably useful applications. The top preloaded apps on the Droid are: Camera, Flashlight, Kindle, YouTube, Google Maps, Navigation, and Quick Office. To be fair these are the only preloaded apps that I ever use. All of the dozens of other applications that are preloaded are just wasted space and are particularly annoying since you cannot uninstall them. Lame. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Over the course of a few months I have downloaded and uninstalled dozens of apps that I thought were cool or useful, but here are the ones that remain. These apps are all free, by the way. So here is Daniel P. Daniel’s list of essential free Android apps for your device in no particular order…actually let’s do this in the order that I downloaded them, shall we? </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">1. <a href="http://www.soundhound.com/">SoundHound</a>: Ever wonder who the artist is that is singing a song while you’re buzzing down the highway? Want to settle an argument about which album the song was on? What is that song anyway? Identify it with this gem.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">2. <a href="http://www.google.com/earth/index.html">Google Earth</a>: This is easily the most powerful free app on the market. You can use Google Earth to fly around the planet with the swipe of a finger. I found this app surprisingly useful on a recent hunting expedition in Routt National Forest. Since this app finds your location via satellite it will work in areas that have no cell service. If you pre-load the maps of the areas you plan on visiting this single free app will replace your compass, GPS, and maps. If you are looking for a more full-bodied GPS/ Topo map application check GAIA GPS (http://www.gaiagps.com/), but it is not free.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">3. ConvertPad: ConvertPad is a simple and powerful unit converter. Nothing glamorous here, just a full-featured app that is fast and easy to use.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">4. BJCPDroid: This is a must have for any beer snobs in the group. BJCPDroid gives you the beer judge certification program style guidelines in the palm of your hand. Fully searchable by style, and it even comes with a standard reference meter to gauge the color of the beer in your other hand.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">5. Gmail: I think we all know what this is.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">6. Facebook: Although it takes a bit of getting used to the interface, the Facebook app gives you everything you need to post drunken pictures of yourself online and check in from the stall of your favorite Mexican restaurant’s bathroom.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">7. MP3 Ringtone Box: Apparently every smartphone user needs to have the annoying capacity to customize ringtones to every person in their contact list, and the preloaded apps that come with the Droid are surprisingly dismal. This application makes millions of popular mp3 ringtones and sounds available to you for free. The best part of this app is that you can also create your own ringtones from mp3 sound files via their sound editor.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">8. Zedge: This has a pretty good list of pre-edited ringtones and notification sounds, but I prefer the Ringtone Box app above for most of my ringtones.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">9. <a href="http://www.google.com/mobile/goggles/#text">Google Goggles</a>: This is a surprisingly under-marketed piece of software. It allows you to perform a web search by simply taking a picture. Goggles uses image recognition technology to recognize objects and return relevant search results. Identifies products, famous landmarks, storefronts, artwork, and popular images found online. Goggles can translate words in English, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Portuguese and Russian. You can scan barcodes to get product information, scan QR codes to extract information, add contacts by scanning business cards or QR codes, and even solve Sudoku puzzles. Nice work Google.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">10. <a href="http://www.google.com/sky/%20">Google Sky Map</a>: This is the sister app to Google Earth. Simply point your phone anywhere in the sky, and the Google Sky Map will instantly turn Cousin Billy Bob into Copernicus.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">11. RealCalc: This is a simple to use scientific calculator. ‘Nuff said.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">12. Alarm Clock Xtreme: I find it annoying that the Droid doesn’t come preloaded with an alarm clock. I mean, how am I supposed to know when I’ve been sleeping too long at my desk? Anyway, this app is great, and it comes with loads of possibilities for customization.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">13. TED Mobile: TED is a nonprofit organization devoted to promoting ideas worth spreading. It started out in 1984 as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, and Design. The talks are inspiring and enlightening. Much better that scanning YouTube for people getting kicked in the crotch…well, pretty close.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">14. Photoshop Express: This app allows you to edit and share photos virtually anywhere. Simply touch to crop, rotate, adjust color, and add artistic effects. Then send them into cyberspace.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">15. Spirit Level Plus: Finally! I don’t need to carry my four-foot level around wherever I go. Everybody carries a level around with them, right? Well now you can.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">16. IMDb: Handheld access to the international film and movie database. This app is essentially the movie version of SoundHound. I just use it to settle arguments.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">17. Baby monitor: Baby Monitor is an app that helps you in watching your baby even when you don’t want to be in the same room with it. If your baby is asleep and you are in another room, the baby monitor will detect if your baby is crying and alert you by a call or a text message to whatever phone number you like.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">18. Random Mahjong: Awesome app for killing time while dropping the deuce.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">19. <a href="http://www.vlingo.com/">Vlingo</a>: Vlingo combines voice to text technology with its "intent engine" to help you quickly complete your desired action. Simply speak to your phone or type a command through the action bar to get just about anything done while on the go. I find this application immensely useful while driving. However, talking at my phone makes me feel like a weirdass, so I only use this app when I’m alone.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">20. GEICO BroStache: Yeah, yeah. I know it’s silly.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">21. Google+: G+ is Facebook’s up-and-coming competition, and (like I said before) I’m an early adopter. This app would be a whole lot cooler if it had the “What’s Hot” links that standard G+ has.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">22. Pandora: The Droid operating system comes preloaded with Slacker, but I already have all of my stations figured out on Pandora. I can’t be bothered to do the same on Slacker, so here we are.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">23. <a href="http://www.swiftkey.net/%20">SwiftKey X</a>: The stock keyboard for the android is OK at predictive text, but the SwiftKey X keyboard steps it up a huge notch and has mastered the art of predictive <i>conversation</i>. It is fast, customizable, and uses swipe gestures, which makes this a necessary addition to the “must have” apps. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">These mobile devices can be customized to be as unique as their owners, and not everyone uses them in the same way. However, I think this is a pretty good starting point for any new Android owners out there. What do you think? Am I missing any big hitters? </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-20654140736618310012011-10-17T13:36:00.000-06:002011-10-19T09:36:29.904-06:00The Top 20 Horror Movies of All Time<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Hey there, blogophiles. The Halloween season is upon us, and as you
may have guessed by some of my previous posts I am hopelessly addicted to horror
movies. If horror movies were IV drugs I
would have collapsed my jugular vein long ago.
So I thought that I’d spread my addiction a bit further in honor of the
season and regale you with my list of the Top 20 Best Horror Movies of All
Time. I could have made a list of the
Top 100 Horror Movies of All Time, but usually those lists tend to turn into The
Only 100 Horror Movies That the Writer Has Seen and are a tedious waste of
time. However you can be sure that the
twenty that have made my list deserve to be there even though they have bumped
out some notable selections. Also, I
have composed the list entirely of influential, well-made films that push the
boundaries of the genre. Don’t expect to
find any of the beautifully cheesy B movies that we all love, such as: Frankenhooker,
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa_uWT70GbA">Rawhead Rex</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE6Z1nBqLwo">The Stuff</a>, and The Giant Spider Invasion.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Without any further ado (or
fanfare) I give you Daniel P. Daniel’s list of the Top 20 Horror Movies of All
Time. Read it if you dare {enter Vincent Price laugh track}:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">20. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O76m3kpgPTQ">The Hills Have Eyes</a> (2006):
This is the most recently made film to make the list and one of only four
that made the cut from this century.
Although Wes Craven’s original was truly demented, Alexandre Aja sees
his demented and raises him one disgusting.
This gives new meaning to the term “nuclear family”. Is it creepily horrifying? The ayes have it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">19. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZjaVdJt59U">The Birds</a> (1963): No
horror movie list can be complete without including at least one film from the
master of suspense, Alfred Hitchcock.
This is one of his best.
Certainly not as shocking and perverse as “Psycho”, yet this movie
somehow leaves you with a feeling dread and helplessness even though the
assailants are only birds. There is
never an explanation as to why the birds placed humans on their shit list, but
once the onslaught begins there is no turning back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">18. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eunaclr-WgU">28 Days Later</a> (2003):
Super-fast, rage-infected, blood-puking zombies. Need I say more? Danny Boyle’s dystopic view of the future is
both frightening and involving. This nod
to “Dawn of the Dead” quickly devolves into a gore-fest, but, remember, it’s
the animal rights activists’ fault.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9t035TMlZSusBP1JeFQW4FbrdmW1el_PQaf7KiV75sWFeBTxxrYej0G5vZLs0C_wdC0mM9g9YIlWxThDUdSKeib4lgxTQGB91LX8e3HOp93vVugGZPPRFUP4Fiu8pV3Usq3lQ9CvVCkWJ/s1600/hellraiser-cenobites.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9t035TMlZSusBP1JeFQW4FbrdmW1el_PQaf7KiV75sWFeBTxxrYej0G5vZLs0C_wdC0mM9g9YIlWxThDUdSKeib4lgxTQGB91LX8e3HOp93vVugGZPPRFUP4Fiu8pV3Usq3lQ9CvVCkWJ/s320/hellraiser-cenobites.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">17. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAx34IZ8bTk">Hellraiser </a>(1987):
Clive Barker kicks open the door to Hell in this surreal freak
show. Some would argue that the sequel
“Hellbound: Hellraiser 2” is a better all-around movie, but I think that the
very introduction of Pinhead and the seriously effed-up Cenobites into the
world makes “Hellraiser” a better movie despite some of its shortcomings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">16. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hQkBLrd1rE">Poltergeist </a>(1982):
They’re heeere. We have been
subjected to haunted house movies for nearly 100 years, but Tobe Hopper and
Steven Spielberg leave them all in a quivering pool of pink ectoplasmic
jelly. The innocence of the prototypical
family in the non-descript suburbs allows the audience to lend credence to even
the most impossible situations, and nearly 30 years later I'm betting sales of
clown dolls still haven’t recovered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">15. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKPy5RWuqNA">Saw </a>(2004): James
Wan really came out swinging in his directorial debut. “Saw” is a snuff film on steroids – gruesome,
gory and real. Jigsaw puts his victims
in incredibly intricate controlled environments and forces them to make
horrifyingly difficult decisions...much like life in general. Survive and you’ll appreciate what you have a
little more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">14. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJztRnDxdM8">Jacob’s Ladder</a> (1990):
If I had to describe this film with one word it would be:
unsettling. Although this movie is
unfairly shrugged-off as nothing more than a cult feature, the freakishly
nightmare visions straddling reality and hallucination have you continually
wondering what is real after all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggG8WYDjrvDujycgU0RcveaXZ6pl2zi0kGQeV7J5bXkTMHMzuyzoM1dSpgqwXIKWoewYIj5HJ77LYnMn6PRnQopOIX_CqajDdWI3f8wE4R7LtZXSN-WW0J2EoN4yWO5nyydfflxpb7ZCES/s1600/Voorheesfamily.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggG8WYDjrvDujycgU0RcveaXZ6pl2zi0kGQeV7J5bXkTMHMzuyzoM1dSpgqwXIKWoewYIj5HJ77LYnMn6PRnQopOIX_CqajDdWI3f8wE4R7LtZXSN-WW0J2EoN4yWO5nyydfflxpb7ZCES/s320/Voorheesfamily.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">13. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBRwYipQMR0&feature=related">Friday the 13th</a> (1980): Of course this one had to be #13. I saw this movie at the drive-in with my
parents (I know, right?), and thanks to Kevin Bacon getting an arrow shoved
through his throat from below a bed I still can’t sleep on bunk beds. This film spawned an incredible 13-movie
franchise that has been the backbone for the horror genre for 30 years. Jason Voorhees is the ultimate indestructible
slasher racking up over 150 kills throughout the entire franchise, yet he
somehow walks the line between hero and villain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">12. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQKs169Sl0I">Silence of the Lambs</a> (1991):
This film won five Academy Awards, a Golden Globe and numerous other
awards which makes it impossible to exclude from any list of the greatest
horror movies of all time. The acting by
Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins propel this deeply disturbing and exciting
piece of cinematic excellence into the mainstream and truly freaks everyone
right the eff out. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">11. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cb3ik6zP2I">The Shining</a> (1980): All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Stanley Kubrick truly is an unparalleled
weirdass, and it bleeds through in this brilliant adaptation of Stephen King’s
book. This movie is carried by the incredible
performance of Jack Nicholson {I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m only gonna bash your fucking head in.},
but somehow Shelly Duvall seems a lot creepier to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">10. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvKcNUSFWKA&feature=related">A Nightmare on Elm Street</a> (1984): If Nancy Doesn’t Wake Up Screaming She Won’t
Wake Up At All. This is really Wes
Craven’s coming-of-age film. With
“Nightmare” Craven really comes into his own, and the performance of Robert
Englund as Freddy is nothing short of brilliant. {One, two, Freddy’s coming for you.} And who can forget the tour de force performance
given by Johnny Depp? Anyone?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">9. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eIpvZsEky4">Alien</a> (1979): In Space No One Can Hear You Scream. Ridley Scott tears the roof off of the sci-fi
horror genre and blasts us into the 21st century a few decades early with this
masterpiece. Suspenseful and thrilling
this movie is aided along the way by brilliant set design, and it set the bar
for all sci-fi horror to come. The alien
bursting from the chest of John Hurt is easily one of the scariest moments in
movie history.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">8. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDGw1MTEe9k">The Exorcist </a>(1973):
Religion truly is disturbing, and this movie proves it. {The power of Christ compels you!} The cast and the storyline draws you in by
making every piece of this film seem utterly plausible which makes it an
unforgettable movie that doesn't just get under your skin - it stays there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">7. <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_600507036"> </a><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpuNE1cX03c">Dawn of the Dead </a>(2004): I chose Zack Snyder’s take on George Romero's
1978 horror classic for one reason: Richard Cheese singing “<a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2704914069624298394">Get Down with theSickness</a>.” Zombies, shopping malls, gore
(the zombie birth scene is particularly hard to take) and celebrity
assassinations – what more could you ask for?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">6. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnweI7uSrJE&feature=related">The Thing</a> (1982): John Carpenter takes the gloves off in this
remake of the 1951 original. Along with
“Alien”, “The Thing” helped launch a new wave of sci-fi horror films. Action-packed and visually amazing for its
time, this movie is probably why to this day I don’t like huskies…or Norway.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL3ueP8K-fz_h2KV0OWCKPYoviF8ZVRp_wJcIYy6CiRxkT9jHqzWXTx6iGSlgvJtwEhn3kGl4RsJFbBAHoFXW81bknhWETjKacOzElAq9x-IA-tD-j8YxU2oDkl0BN8D747i_4aX7g1qZ_/s1600/audition1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL3ueP8K-fz_h2KV0OWCKPYoviF8ZVRp_wJcIYy6CiRxkT9jHqzWXTx6iGSlgvJtwEhn3kGl4RsJFbBAHoFXW81bknhWETjKacOzElAq9x-IA-tD-j8YxU2oDkl0BN8D747i_4aX7g1qZ_/s320/audition1.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">5. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhsrsWcEspc">Audition</a> (1999): This movie is so insanely creepy that I had a hard time even writing
this paragraph. Japanese horror at its
finest. Takashi Miike creates a
psychological train wreck so compelling that you just can’t look away even
though every nerve in your body is begging you to. This one makes “Fatal Attraction” look like
“Mary Poppins”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">4. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGpjlDUb0zY">Evil Dead II</a> (1987):
Sam Raimi and the ultimate horror movie hero, Bruce Campbell, enter the
list with this brilliant horror-comedy sequel.
The joy which the cast and crew take in creating a masterpiece of
slapstick gore is obvious. “Evil Dead 2”
is a must-see for all connoisseurs of truly demented films.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">3. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs3981DoINw">Texas Chainsaw Massacre</a> (1974):
Supposedly based on a true story, Tobe Hopper's second entry into my
list is a landmark low budget horror movie which is absolutely a modern
classic. Grainy, disjointed and
frightening, if this movie doesn’t make you want to run from the theater then
there is something seriously wrong with you.
Plus, this movie proves that hillbillies are much scarier than zombies.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">2. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz4nFYMYTY4">Jaws</a> (1975):
I had a hard time keeping this out of the Number 1 position. {Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish
ladies…} Spielberg plays on our
ingrained terror of the unknown like no other movie made before or since. {Farewell and adieu you ladies of
Spain…} The score alone is enough to
make you white-knuckle it through the movie.
{We’ve received orders to sail back to Boston…} To this day I can’t step into a kiddie pool
without heart palpitations. {And so
never more will we see you again.}</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">1. <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_600507060"> </a><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TeqMYdzQQY">Halloween </a>(1978):
The Night He Came Home. This is
the movie that launched John Carpenter’s career into superstar territory and
set the standard for every horror movie to follow after it. Scary, suspenseful, thrilling, creepy, and
more, but what really sets this movie apart can be summed up in three words: William Shatner mask {shudder}. Top marks all around.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkIwKhOKvbJp83Vos7XoAQzz7IJvksNA5YtlYWjfUXdQkpFpyh6QvLuDRuPMUoBqrRiBM6ZgrJaU-DJx2aCe6eqjB6dwu-Nsp1tOATQ8BVCEfzcdVzPFRzlwToD03KqAwH1MomgpbX3mT9/s1600/Shatner-Myers-Mask.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkIwKhOKvbJp83Vos7XoAQzz7IJvksNA5YtlYWjfUXdQkpFpyh6QvLuDRuPMUoBqrRiBM6ZgrJaU-DJx2aCe6eqjB6dwu-Nsp1tOATQ8BVCEfzcdVzPFRzlwToD03KqAwH1MomgpbX3mT9/s400/Shatner-Myers-Mask.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Honorable mentions: Trilogy of
Terror, Ju-On, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8zbV_fFkYs">Suspira</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7xoyu08xNE">The Fly</a>, Night of the Living Dead, Psycho, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0k21yeVMbM">Cujo</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;">So what do you think? Did any of your favorites make my list?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-39993558231671405892011-05-28T21:56:00.011-06:002011-05-31T08:06:24.488-06:00The Meat Highway<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">A couple of weeks ago my lovely wife and I were watching old episodes of Man VS. Food aghast at how much food some people try to pack away in one sitting. It isn’t just that Adam Richman eating 18 chili dogs or slugging down 5 gallons of milkshake at some random tavern is disturbing. That’s a given. It’s the normal portion sizes that everyone else is eating at the restaurants which </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">he showcases that are equally disturbing. We notice the same phenomenon when we go out to eat, watching the wait staff wheel out a three-inch thick steak and a nine-pound double-baked potato covered in bacon (mmm…bacon) to some guy sitting at the bar by himself. Why do Americans eat so much? Why do we</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> even try? This post isn’t going to attempt to answer these questions which are undoubtedly rooted in our hunter-gathe</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">rer genes that still haunt us by urging us to store fat away for the “lean” times. Sometim</span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqKhshgA4AtmjdbzDkfcN1neTiGC8BJoz0Javvg-UHh_4tHiU0VQ-iIK64RCM7oAef55Otwp8jDI5cNeVUiwgfNDDqA-vvb1l6_sWVQDnFRNtSntd2W-dF0yCPMw6M9ZYErqmMH81EPYDA/s1600/this-woman-totally-looks-like-jabba-the-hutt.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 135px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqKhshgA4AtmjdbzDkfcN1neTiGC8BJoz0Javvg-UHh_4tHiU0VQ-iIK64RCM7oAef55Otwp8jDI5cNeVUiwgfNDDqA-vvb1l6_sWVQDnFRNtSntd2W-dF0yCPMw6M9ZYErqmMH81EPYDA/s200/this-woman-totally-looks-like-jabba-the-hutt.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611983561943983538" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">es our genes are mean to us. A trait that would likely be very useful if we lived life in the wilderness causes us to turn ourselves into sedentary Jabba the Hut protégés in modern times. Anyway, as </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">we sat on the couch spilling Chex Mix and booze all over ourselves at 11:00PM my wife posed the brilliant question: How many animals do we kill for food and then just throw in the trash because our portion sizes are way out of whack? It’s a great question on many levels. We</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> p</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ump massive amounts of energy and human effort into the animal husbandry industry just to throw some portion of it away (which consumes still more energy) because a normal person can’t </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">finish a 40oz. porterhouse w</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ithout wanting to</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> commit suicide after they force down the last bite. This isn’t something that my wife necessarily worries about since she is a vegetarian because she</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> doesn’t want to support the meat industry. Actually, to be totally correct she is a pescetarian which means that she still eats seafood, just not mammals or poultry. I guess since fish don’t breastfeed it’s OK to drown them and freeze them alive. Anyway, as you may know <a href="http://danielpdaniel.blogspot.com/2010/05/how-cattle-destroyed-planet-part-i.html">I don’t eat beef</a> or <a href="http://danielpdaniel.blogspot.com/2008/09/tall-cool-glass-of-3.html">consume milk (a.k.a. #3)</a> so I have my own suitably arbitrary dietary ethos as well. Still, let’s see what </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">damage we </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">can do to the question at hand - how many animals do Americans throw in the trash every year?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">In order to determine how many animals we chuck it’s critical to know how much food we consume and how much food we waste. According to the USDA and other independent research, every year Americans produce somewhere on the order of 356 billion lbs. of edible food. Of that ~96.3 billion lbs. are thrown out, or fully 27% of all of the food that ge</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ts produced. Take a look at the chart for a complete breakdown. The main factors that increase the amount of food waste in households include the following: seasonality - more waste occurs in sum</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">mer months; age of children in the household - younger c</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">hildren waste more food than older children; gender - females waste more than males; racism – if you’re racist you don’t give a damn that people are starving in</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> China; income - higher-income individuals waste more than lower-income individuals; setting - more waste is associated with hospitals and military mess halls than with school and company cafeterias; and size of household - larger households waste more than smaller households because of a greater number of children in the household. I consider this as proof positive that kids and wome</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">n are destroying the planet. At any rate, fruits, gr</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ains and vegetables make up the lion’s share of the waste, but the main focus here is on the roughly 8.2 billion pounds of meat that we waste annually. These numbers are truly staggering especially when you consider that these estimates do not include food wasted on the farm, in fisheries, and during processing. I’ll touch on that a bit later. For now let’s just consider some of the implications of those numbers, other than the fact that we’re a caste of slo</span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsefOBL4NBurc1JhtBPbrcBfWLvlsfk2Xwdse3ek24CCk5tlAp-fJ45Fl_jksdlKmasYLLHxZGw0-8YwBEzt6Vg7z48Aha40cTA9kl_aoeEXCD3gpr0_UhvqHoLI5e7qmaJs7KDJuMyD48/s1600/Food+Chart.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 311px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsefOBL4NBurc1JhtBPbrcBfWLvlsfk2Xwdse3ek24CCk5tlAp-fJ45Fl_jksdlKmasYLLHxZGw0-8YwBEzt6Vg7z48Aha40cTA9kl_aoeEXCD3gpr0_UhvqHoLI5e7qmaJs7KDJuMyD48/s320/Food+Chart.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611983076021110210" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">venly, overfed, entitled, ignorant, elitist bastards.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">On average, each of us consumes about 3-5 pounds of food each day. If even 5 percent of the 96 billion lbs. of wasted food were recovered and redistributed freely, that quantity would represent the equivalent of a year’s food for each of 9.6 million people. Why is 9.6 mil</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">lion</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> an important number? It is roughly the number of people in the U.S. that go to bed every night hungry and/or underfed. If we somehow managed to save 100% that would be enough food to feed the entire population of Germany for a year. Of course they would grind it all into sausage; that goes without saying. Instead, we throw it in the garbage. Speaking of garbage, the EPA reported that food waste accounts for about 8.5 percent of municipal solid waste collected from households and businesses. If 5 percent of retail, food-service, and consumer food losses were recovered rather than chucked into landfills, about $84,262,500 annually could be saved in solid waste disposal costs for landfills alone. These savings would increase to $421,312,500 with a 25-percent recovery rate. At 100% it would be ~$2 billion or $16 per household. OK. That isn’t too impressive, but if anyone has $2 billion dollars lying around that they want to give me…</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">While we’re on the subject of money, let’s look at this another way. Go to the bank and pull $6362 out of your kid’s college fund. They are never going to use it anyway. Now take $1720 of that and light it on fire. Trust me; this is a well though-out experiment. How’d that m</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ake you feel? Crappy? Maybe a little stupid? Admittedly, I probably should have suggested t</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">hat you leave the bank before committing arson. Now perform this experiment every year until you die or the kids disown you. The average U.S. household spends $6362 per year on food (~12% of annual income) including both groceries and restaurant expenses. 27% of that goes into the trash. That adds up to around $181 billion per year across the nation. Can you think of anything useful to spend $1720 on every year? Nah, me either, might as well throw it out.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Take a look at the chart again. The far right column is an estimate of how much energy was put into the production, transportation and processing of that wasted food. Approximately 2030 trillion BTU of energy were embedded in wasted food in 2007. This energy embedded in wasted food represents approximately 2.78% of annual energy consumption in the United States. Doesn’t seem like that much does it? Well, that’s twice as much power as was produced by wind and solar sources combined last year. Nice work, hippies. Turns out that rather than investing billions of dollars into some renewable energy portfolio and </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">shoehorning infrastructure where it isn’t wanted we could do more for the environment by bei</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ng more efficient eaters. Typical.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">OK. Now let’s finally get to the question at hand. How many animals are wasted every year because we don’t know how to order, serve or prepare food properly? Based on the average size of processed cattle, pigs, and poultry it turns out that somewhere in the ballpark of 700 million animals (not counting seafood) are essentially raised and killed for food then transported directly into landfills each year without passing through anyone’s colon first. That’s right, <span style="font-style: italic;">700 million</span> – more than two for every man, woman and child in the U.S. Approximately 5.5 million cattle and 12 million pigs get chucked into the dumpster with the rest being filled up with chickens and turkeys. That is enough meat to pave a two-lane highway with 1” thick steaks for 8800 miles…over 1/3 </span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLTnmKb6WSrLc_XmAvx5EVn-5WSJxZbAb54e7jS2aKBT__ZIGB7kT5pk8O8ApL1YBqxKBAzB-KbHg7FV5F5JWDviDX16Ypd7RpU4aKe8WgIIgLJNWA70voA90XSGChNyKeqgWL5Sf7uItP/s1600/Lost.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 199px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLTnmKb6WSrLc_XmAvx5EVn-5WSJxZbAb54e7jS2aKBT__ZIGB7kT5pk8O8ApL1YBqxKBAzB-KbHg7FV5F5JWDviDX16Ypd7RpU4aKe8WgIIgLJNWA70voA90XSGChNyKeqgWL5Sf7uItP/s320/Lost.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611986622827049842" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">the way around the planet. If you take seafood waste into account the road extends to 9600 miles and gets a lot smellier. Remember that’s just consumer and retail waste. These estimates do not include food wasted on the farm, in fisheries, and during processing.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">When an animal is killed or dies for whatever reason before it gets sold for slaughter it is considered a “death loss” to the farmer. Death losses can be from any number of causes including weakness, illness, disease, getting squashed by their mother, suffocating in mud, predation, etc. The USDA keeps very good records of these death losses for all major animals used for meat in the U.S. Seems like if we care about the waste we should care about these ones too, right? So how many animals does this turn out to be? The death losses for cattle and calves in 2009 added up to ~4.1 million animals. For pigs that number was 8.9 million. I’ve pretty much ignored waste and losses from sheep and lambs in this post because they are only about 1% of the meat that we consume, but if you’re curious their death losses were ~610,000 animals. For the lowly non-mammals that we eat every day the situation is much worse. Chicken losses added up to a staggering 107 million animals. Oddly, the death loss numbers for turkeys wasn’t immediately available, but they most likely aren’t much better off than chickens. Assuming the same proportion of losses as chickens, that puts the turkey number at around 20 million. Oh, and let’s not forget seafood. There are no solid estimates at the overall number of seafaring critters that we kill, but it is estimated that worldwide approximately 23% of fish landings are by-catch, which are thrown back into the ocean, usually already dead or dying, instead of being sold and consumed. In 2008 Americans consumed over 4 billion pounds of seafood which implies over a billion pounds of seafood was dumped back into the sea. How many fish, shrimp, dolphins, crabs, eels and whateverthefuckelse are there in over a billion pounds? One shitload.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">So, all told somewhere in the ballpark of 840 million animals in the U.S. alone (not counting seafood) die every year, basically for no reason. They are raised for food and they either are too sick or weak to make it to the slaughterhouse, or we pitch them in the trash because we are horribly inefficient consumers. What can be done to prevent all of this carnage? I have no idea. However, instead of looking for the magic green pill that will make all of our energy problems disappear perhaps we should start to get real and ask the hard questions regarding our personal efficiencies. Always ask yourself how you could be doing the task at hand more efficiently, and only then will we be able to begin to help other beings and move away from the path we are on today.</span></span><br /><br />Jesus! I feel like "Kum Bah Yah" should be playing in the background. Excuse me while I give myself a grundy...<br /><br /></div>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745162663904629899.post-29434216813487314042010-12-14T06:35:00.004-07:002010-12-17T15:50:06.043-07:00The Irish 12 Days of Christmas<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Everybody knows how annoying the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" can be. Even Bing Crosby can't save me from wanting to jam a candy cane in my earhole whenever I hear it. Well, here is a series of letters that describes how it would actually be to receive the gifts listed in "The 12 Days." Awesome.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Day One </span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Dear Nuala,</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Thank you very much for your lovely present of a partridge in a pear-tree. We’re getting the hang of feeding the partridge now, although it was difficult at first to win its confidence. It bit the mother rather badly on the hand but they’re good friends now and we’re keeping the pear-tree indoors in a bucket. Thank you again. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Yours affectionately, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait O’Lúnasa </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Two </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Dear Nuala,</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">I cannot tell you how surprised we were to hear from you so soon again and to receive your lovely present of two turtle doves. You really are too kind. At first the partridge was very jealous and suspicious of the doves and they had a terrible row the night the doves arrived. We had to send for the vet but the birds are okay again and the stitches are due to come out in a week or two. The vet’s bill was £8 but the mother is over her annoyance now and the doves and the partridge are watching the telly from the pear-tree as I write.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Yours ever, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Three </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Dear Nuala,</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">We must be foremost in your thoughts. I had only posted my letter when the three French hens arrived. There was another sort-out between the hens and the doves, who sided with the partridge, and the vet had to be sent for again. The mother was raging because the bill was £16 this time, but she has almost cooled down. However, the fact that the birds’ droppings keep falling down on her hair whilen she’s watching the telly doesn’t help matters. Thanking you for your kindness. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">I remain, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Your Gobnait </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Four </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Dear Nuala, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">You mustn’t have received my last letter when you were sending us the four calling birds. There was pandemonium in the pear-tree again last night, and the vet’s bill was £32. The mother is on sedation as I write. I know you meant no harm and remain your close friend. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Five </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Nuala, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Your generosity knows no bounds. Five gold rings! When the parcel arrived I was scared stiff that it might be more birds, because the smell in the living-room is atrocious. However, I don’t want to seem ungrateful for the beautiful rings. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Your affectionate friend, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Six </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Nuala, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">What are you trying to do to us? It isn’t that we don’t appreciate your generosity but the six geese have not alone nearly murdered the calling birds, but they laid their eggs on top of the vet’s head from the pear-tree and his bill was £68 in cash! My mother is munching 60 grains of Valium a day, and talking to herself in a most alarming way. You must keep your feelings for me in check. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Day Seven</span> </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Nuala, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">We are not amused by your little joke. Seven swans-a-swimming is a most romantic idea but not in the bath of a private house. We cannot use the bathroom now because they’ve gone completely savage and rush the door every time we try to enter. If things go on this way, the mother and I will smell as bad as the living-room carpet. Please lay off. It is not fair. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Eight </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Nuala, </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Who the hell do you think gave you the right to send eight, hefty maids-a-milking here, to eat us out of house and home? Their cattle are all over the front lawn and have trampled the hell out of the mother’s rose beds. The swans invaded the living-room in a sneak attack, and the ensuing battle between them and the calling birds, turtle doves, French hens and partridge make the Battle of the Somme seem like Wanderly Wagon. The mother is on a bottle of whiskey a day, as well as the sixty grains of Valium. I’m very annoyed with you. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Nine </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Listen you loser! </span><span style="font-family:arial;">There’s enough pandemonium in this place night and day without nine drummers drumming, while the eight flaming maids-a-milking are beating my poor, old, alcoholic mother out of her own kitchen and gobbling up everything in sight. I’m warning you, you’re making an enemy of me. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Ten </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Listen, Manure-face.</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> I hope you’ll be haunted by the strains of ten pipers piping which you sent to torment us last night. They were aided in their evil work by those maniac drummers, and it wasn’t a pleasant sight to look out the window and see eight hefty maids-a-milking pogo-ing around with the ensuing punk-rock uproar. My mother has just finished her third bottle of whiskey, on top of a hundred and twenty four grains of Valium. You’ll get yours! </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait O’Lúnasa </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Eleven </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">You have scandalized my mother, you dirty Jezebel.</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> It was bad enough to have eight maids-a-milking dancing to punk music on the front lawn but they’ve now been joined by your friends ~ the eleven Lords-a-leaping, and the antics of the whole lot of them would leave the most decadent days of the Roman Empire looking like “Outlook”. I’ll get you yet, you old bag!</span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Day Twelve </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Listen, Slurry-head.</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> You have ruined our lives. The twelve maidens dancing turned up last night and beat the living daylights out of the eight maids-a-milking 'cos they found them carrying on with the eleven Lords-a-leaping. Meanwhile, the swans got out of the living-room, where they’d been hiding since the big battle, and savaged hell out of the Lords and all the Maids. There were eight ambulances here last night, and the local Civil Defense as well. The mother is in a home for the bewildered, and I’m sitting here up to my neck in birds’ droppings, empty whiskey and Valium bottles, birds’ blood and feathers, while the flaming cows eat the leaves off the pear-tree. I’m a broken man. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Gobnait O’Lúnasa</span></span><br /><br />...and to all a good night...<br /><br /><br /></div>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143353140893267548noreply@blogger.com0